Write, Edit, Write Again

Review for Exam

2005-07-12T06:13:00.000-07:00

Be able to use the following patterns in your writing:
1. however or therefore
2. while or whereas
3. less ...than... or fewer...than...
4. although
5.when....(then)
6. as a result
7. if.....(then)
8. result(s) from + noun phrase (often a gerund phrase)
9. as....as

link- comparison and contrast

link-cause and effect

You will be graded on the quality of your topic sentences, your organization, following directions, punctuation, and content.

Educational System Colombia vs. US

2005-07-08T11:03:00.000-07:00

Mario Lopez
07/07/05
Compare and Contrast Paper Test

Educational System Colombia vs. US

The educational system in Colombia is very similar to that in America. However, both American and Colombian systems have some differences too. In addition, education is a reference of how people live in a specific place. In other words, education reflects; beliefs, values, customs, and behaviors shared by a group of the people. you don't need special punctuation here--it is a list

First, the actual educational system in the United States was created since eighty years ago. Moreover, every state in America is responsible to make the rules which go according to the place in^ US. For example,^ educational system in Georgia is very different than educational system in California. It is because, every state in the United States have different laws according to the place. However, America has a unique educational system which people adapt according with their necessities. In contrast, the educational system in Colombia was created twenty years ago. In addition, they every five or seven years make(word order) reformations to the education code. In my opinion, I believe that it is a disadvantage because this aspect could affect directly the educational quality.

On the other hand,(what is this in contrast to?) the time which spend people studying in the United States it is around twelve years while in Colombia it is around eleven years. In addition, people in America have three levels in their educational system (Elementary, Junior or Middle and High School). On the other hand, Colombia just has Elementary and high school.

Lastly, the educational system in America is^ responsibility of an administration (superintendent and local teachers) which takes decisions according to the place and their own necessities....to be continue…

On the other hand, both educational systems have some differences, like the division between private and public schools, kinder garden like first year of education, writing and writing in the first year of the elementary school, vocational school, and ^majority of people have access to public education.

In conclusion,^ educational system in Colombia is very similar to that in America. However, there are some differences between them. (you need to work on having a stonger type of concludion)

Compare and contrast between the educational system in Thailand and the US

2005-07-08T08:21:00.000-07:00

JANTHIMA SRISOMBAT
July 8, 2005

Compare and contrast between the educational system in Thailand and the US

The education need for people in the world. After I heard about^ educational system in the US, I found that it has some similarities and differences from ^educational system my country.
For similarities, both Thailand and the US have public schools and private schools. So the people have two choices to learn in the school. In addition, both the students in the US and Thailand will receive training in the public schools.
For differences, if we consider in terms of the spent of time to study in each school, it is not^ same. The educational system of the US takes time longer than Thailand in element schools. For example, students in the US have to study for reading and writing in the element school for eight years; whereas, students in Thailand take only six years. On the other hand, they spent time in secondary schools only four years(word order) in secondary schools; while, students in Thailand must learn for six years.
All in all, the education is a good thing for people. In many countries focus on this matter especially. Although the educational system is different in many parts of the world, I think it is appropriate in the each country by ifself. Keep on topic.

Education in Germany

2005-07-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

Christin Morath

Writing Practice test.

Education in Germany!

It is very easy to discover the small differences between the German and American Education. It is similar, except for a few areas, which I am going to explain.
By the age of 3, kids in Germany go to the kindergarten for 3 year(plural), by the age of 6 they go to junior Highschool for about 4 years before everyone gets to choose in which direction they want to be educated. There are 3 options, you can go to Highschool , Middleschool , or straigh to college. Which means going to Middleschool, kids will be finished by the age of 16 with the minimum degree you must have by law in Germany. Highschool offers 9 years of education and the degree means much more, and it is required for a lot of ok jobs. Going to College means a lot. Kids get to study for 12 years, and learn a lot about how to handle them self’s in a big position job, or how to get prepared at the university. You must have a college degree, going to the university .The educational way works alike it dose in ^USA, besides we don’t have privet schools so much. There are very little options for privet schools, like a sport school or music school, and in Germany schools are for free, it’s mostly paid by the government, organization and the church will race money for schools and kindergarten in little villages.

Korea vs America

2005-07-08T07:16:00.000-07:00

If you are Korean and go to ^American school in the US, you will be confused about the difference of the education system between Korea and the US. If you want to go to^ American school, first of all, you have to get imformations that how much different is the education system between Korea and the US. There are several different and similar things between the educational system of Korea and the educational system of the US. (This is a bit repetitive.)

In Korea, the total of the grades(plural) is the same as the US; however, it consists of three school(plural): elementary, middle and high school in Korea. While Americans call 12 grade student 12 grader, we call student 1,2,3,4,5,6 grader in elementary school and 1,2,3 grader in middle and high school. We don't have 7,8,9,10,11 and 12 grade. According to the listening, American kids go to the kindergarden at 5 years old, but Korean parents usually send kids to kindergarden at 6 or 7 years old. And also American(plural) must go to school until 10 grades; however, Korean must go to school before they go to a university. In addition, in Korea, while they have to pay for text book and something like that, they don't have to pay for that in the US.

In-class writing practice test

2005-07-08T05:43:00.000-07:00

Listen to the following audio post, then click on the link below and write a short essay in response to the question. Some special terms that you will hear are listed below with a definition. You will have 40 minutes to complete the exercise. You may do your work on a word document, but should post on this weblog when you have finished. This is a practice test, so please do not use your dictionary.

Terms:
administer--govern or direct
allocate--set aside for a specific purpose
compulsory--required by law
curriculum--program of study
funds--money set aside or raised for a specific purpose
superintendent--chief administrative officer of a school system
vocational school--trade school

link to essay question

Compare/contrast between men and women of life in my country

2005-07-07T13:21:00.000-07:00

By Paul
When the world turns round itself, everything changes continuously. So human beings in the world are one of those things which have to adjust following the time. It includes roles of men and women. In the past, many rights between men and women in my country were completely different, but now they are only a little difference. However, they still have both similarities and differences
within themselves.

For similarities, men and women can almost work everything equally. Women can do any kind of work as men, such as official leaders, soldiers, and so on, whereas men can do things such as housework, cooking foods, sewing clothes and so on. Moreover, both of them can study almost everything equally. The educational system in Thailand doesn’t separate the gender to attend the school. Besides, one important thing that both of them have to do is to take care their parents when they can’t work. Because such is the old culture of Thailand.

For differences, men can make a date before, while women shouldn’t. Because if women ask for a date , they will be regarded as naughty and bitchy. Furthermore, the word in front of women’s name has two words that identify the marriage status of women. Men, on the other hand, have just one that it doesn’t. This issue is not fare for women. The last difference is that women aren’t able to go into the monkshood in Buddhism, but they can just become the nun.

All in all, no matter what you are, man or woman, you have got the rights equally to live on the earth. In addition, if you make many benefits for the public and yourself, you will get loving from others and living together happily. I would hope that my country and others in the world will completely have the equal rights between men and women in the future. If it is possible like that, both of them will walk together to improve their country and our world will fully havetho peace. (this is really nice--please talk to me about it)

Compare/contrast between the people life in urban and rural areas

2005-07-07T13:11:00.000-07:00

June 7, 2005

Compare/contrast between the people life in urban and rural areas.

Nowadays many countries develop rapidly to modernize the countries. The development cannot be equal throughout all areas. That makes the difference in many areas, especially the urban and rural areas. However, they are not completely separated. They have both differences and similarities in terms of the people’s life.

For the differences, the first is that the people in urban areas always have to confront the air pollution problem, while the people in rural areas can be close to ^ good environment. This is a disadvantage for people who live in the urban areas. It is ^fact that they have the lung problemm(use plural here) or get sick easier (use adverb form) than the rural people. On the other hand, the urban people have the good public utilities. For example, the hospitals in urban areas are more modern than the hospitals in rural areas. The last difference is the difference of function of things. For example, in Thailand, the rural people usually use the motorcycle while the urban people favor the motorcycle only in rush hours.

For the similarities, both of them can access the information immediately by TV. For example; no matter what happen in any part of the world, they can know ^in the same time. Furthermore, both of them have a good spirit. For example, they have sympathy and willingness to help people when Thais encounter the natural disaster. This is a merit that can be both the urban people and the rural people. Above of all, it is not important that they live any areas because it doesn’t distinguish the rights. For example, both of them have equality to vote^ the political election.

All in all, although the development still goes on continually, many socialists begin to consider the big problem of the development. I suggest the leader in the each country should focus on the difference between the people (possessive)life in urban and rural areas, and try to make ^smaller gap between urban people and rural people. Who can deny the important of the careful development that regards for people in every area?

Out line

Similarities

Both of them can access the information immediately by TV.
Both of them have sympathy and willingness to help people when Thais encounter the natural disaster.
Both of them have equality to vote the political election.

Differences

The people in urban areas always have to confront air pollution problem, while the people in rural areas can be close to good environment.

The hospitals in urban areas are more modern than the hospitals in rural areas.

People in the rural areas usually use the motorcycle; on the other hand, people in urban areas favor the motorcycle only in rush hours.

Second Draft

Compare/contrast between the people life in urban and rural areas.

Nowadays many countries rapidly change to the modernizing countries. The development cannot be equal throughout all areas. That makes the difference in many areas, especially the urban and rural areas. However, they are not completely separated. They have both differences and similarities in terms of the people’s life.

For the differences, the first is that the people in urban areas always have to confront the air pollution problem, while the people in rural areas can be close to ^ good environment. This is a disadvantage for people who live in the urban areas. It is ^fact that they have the lung problemm(use plural here) or get sick easier (use adverb form) than the rural people. On the other hand, the urban people have the good public utilities. For example, the hospitals in urban areas are more modern than the hospitals in rural areas. The last difference is the difference of function of things. For example, in Thailand, the rural people usually use the motorcycle while the urban people favor the motorcycle only in rush hours.

For the similarities, both of them can access the information immediately by TV. For example; no matter what happen in any part of the world, they can know ^in the same time. Furthermore, both of them have a good spirit. For example, they have sympathy and willingness to help people when Thais encounter the natural disaster. This is a merit that can be both the urban people and the rural people. Above of all, it is not important that they live any areas because it doesn’t distinguish the rights. For example, both of them have equality to vote^ the political election.

All in all, although the development still goes on continually, many socialists begin to consider the big problem of the development. I suggest the leader in the each country should focus on the difference between the people (possessive)life in urban and rural areas, and try to make ^smaller gap between urban people and rural people. Who can deny the important of the careful development that regards for people in every area?

Cultural Differences between Colombia and US

2005-07-07T11:00:00.000-07:00

Mario Lopez
07/07/05
Compare and Contrast Paper

Cultural Differences between Colombia and US

The American culture is very similar to that in Colombia. However, there are some differences between them. For instance, beliefs, values customs, and behaviors shared by a group of the people are a good example to explain what culture is. In addition, some customs, like food, trade, language, and music make the difference between cultures(use comma before this word) too.

First, it is differences between foods. Colombia (need adjective form)food is fresher than food in ^US. In other words, food is more natural and free of preservatives. For example, vegetables grains, and fruit have a different taste in ^US than in Colombia because^ the way that they growth(passive) were different. In addition, Americans eat much fat food, and only a small amount of grains, fruit, and vegetables. Another reason is the American people use more canning food, hamburger, pizza, and hot dog. In contrast, Colombian people eat large amounts of grains, fish, fruit, and very little meat because it is very expensive.

Second, ^USA is one’s the countries the more trade in the world and it is called one’s world –wide power and my country is called a third world country. In other words, US is a rich country while Colombia is a poor country. In addition, this aspect reflects the opportunities in education, jobs and life quality.

Third, Colombian people speak Spanish(comma) which the second language spoken in the world. In contrast, the Americans (possessive)language is the third language spoken in the world, but it is the first language^ the international business and vacation trips.

Fourth, the Colombian music is happier than American music because the Colombian music emphasizes in the cultural tradition of the towns, and it is sweeter, melancholic, and sentimental.

Lastly, people in my country people have been basic motives by emigration to other countries; these were the principal motives, economic pressure, use resources, work opportunities, protection, political freedom, national policies and better life by family. In the other hand, when people legal or illegal going to the other country they can suffer many form(plural) of the discrimination while other people can be living very happy in their live, but often discrimination refers to treating one group of people less well than another on such grounds ad their race, religion, sexism, ethnic background, nationality, disability sexual orientation, preferences or behavior, age and political views. In contrast, people in America don’t need ^move from their own Country.

In conclusion, culture in Colombia is very similar to that in America. However, there are some differences between them.

Recreational activities in the U.S. and Korea

2005-07-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

Now, I have been living here for 4 moths, so I have been impressed by difference (plural)between the U.S. and Korea; especially, recreational activities. Now I’ll tell you three differences.

I made American friends in here, so we sometimes hung out in the bar. I love hanging out to drink because I’m a Korean, and they(reference not clear) love, too. However, my American friends don’t want to drink until dawn. I’m used to drinking a lot because most Korean people enjoy drinking until dawn, so a lot of bars, karaokes and restaurants open until dawn, so that’s my first impression about Americans.
In May, I visited Loren’s lake house who is my American friend Ryan’s girlfriend. There is really calm and peaceful, but I was surprised by lots of jet skis and boats. In Korea, only the rich, like a CEO, own a jet ski or a boat, but her parents are doctors. Furthermore, there are a lot of mountains, but a little lake in Korea, so many Korean people enjoy skiing, snow boarding and climbing; however, There are lots of lakes in America, so most Americans enjoy water sports such as yachting, jet skiing and wakeboarding. I really envy about this because I like playing in the water.
Finally, last week I went to ^shooting range. It’s really awesome. In the U.S. having a gun is legal, so a lot of Americans go to the shooting range or hunting. However, it’s illegal in Korea, so it’s my special experience for my life.

However, both Americans and Koreans like watching movies in the free time, and I think both Americans and Koreans want to enjoy their life, so they spend lots of money to improve their life.

compare/ contrast pragraph

2005-07-07T08:05:00.001-07:00

Compare paragraph/contrast

Korean education and America’s are so similar, but on the other hand so different.
Nowadays, education is very important to all over the world.
Everwhere, people are concerned about their education. Today I will talk about American and Korean education. Both the American and Korean education prefer to better their life. And then they want to get so many opportunities. Moreover, both the educations can make a lot of intelligent people. On the other hand, Korean education is stricter than American education. Actually, in Korean people childhood, they face and get a lot of information about education, and they learn to their study hard. On the other side, America education is slower and freer.

Compare/ contrast education in the U.S and your country.Topic sentence: Korea education and America education.SimilaritiesBoth of them consider that people improve their life better than now.Both of them can make a lot of intelligence people.DifferencesKorea education is stricter than America education.America education is so many selections but korea education is limitation.Compare/ contrast education in the U.S and your country.Topic sentence: Korea education and America education.SimilaritiesBoth of them consider that people improve their life better than now.Both of them can make a lot of intelligence people.DifferencesKorea education is stricter than America education.America education is so many selection but korea education is limitation.

2005-07-07T08:05:00.000-07:00

Compare/contract in the U.S.A and Korea

2005-07-07T08:02:00.000-07:00

Korean education and the U.S.A education have differences and similarities. Both Korea and the U.S.A have ^same school courses. Both Korean and American students need to take an exam when they go to the university or college. Korea has a Su-Neung test and the U.S.A has a SAT test. Maybe, Korea students study harder than American(use plural) because the Su-Neung test is the most important test for entering university or college in Korea. Your life can be changed by the Su-Neung test. Korean student(use plural) have to pay for high school whereas American student don’t have to pay for high school. As soon as, Korean school should don’t have to pay for high school.^ Korean education form is ‘repeat and memorize’, but American education form is ‘student can express opinions. It is a Korean education problem. We have to change it. Most Korean students have to wear school uniform (use plural)and hair style is limited while America students can wear each one’s style and they can do each one’s hair style.

Compare/contrast education in the U.S. and your country

2005-07-07T07:59:00.000-07:00

U.S and Korea schools have similarities and differences.
I am going to explain about 4 similarities now.
First,SimilaritiesSimilaritiesSimilarities both of the U.S and Korean education have a one teacher in a class. I think this system is selected by all world school. U.S, England, and so on, rich country schools have small students in a class. But some country schools have a so many students in a class. For example, Africa schools have many students in a class.(not related to your topic) Second, both of the U.S and Korean education system (use plural)have 12 grades before^ student go to university. ^School system consists of element school, middle school, high school. Third, both of the U.S and Korean student(use plural) are studying for a job. An academic clique is very important for^ job.Last, both of them study to improve their life. An academic clique is also important for life. That is not exactly correct, but many times good company want to get good academic clique students.I am going to explain about differences.
First, students in Korea are studying all subjects that are required, but students in the U.S who are studying in a class can study their favorites subjects as well as required subject(use plural).
Second, high school students in Korea study for^ good university, because university is important for ^job. But high school students in U.S study for ^enjoyable life.
Last, students in Korea get a job about their major, but students in U.S get a job about their aptitude’s things.

compare/ contrast education

2005-07-06T07:46:00.000-07:00

Compare/ contrast education in the U.S and your country.

Topic sentence: Korea education and America education.

Similarities

Both of them consider that people improve their life better than now.

Both of them can make a lot of intelligence people.

Differences

Korea education is stricter than America education.
America education is so many selection but korea education is limitation.

Recreational activities in the U.S. and Korea

2005-07-06T07:34:00.001-07:00

1. Difference
- In the U.S. having ^gun is legal, so a lot of Americans go to the shooting range or hunting. However, it’s illegal in the Korea.
- Most Korean people enjoy drinking until dawn, so a lot of bars, karaokes and restaurants open until dawn, but I think most Americans rarely love drinking; therefore they come home early.
- There are lots of lakes in the America(the is used with USA, but not with America), so most Americans enjoy water sports such as yachting, jet skiing and wakeboarding. However, there are a lot of mountains in Korea, so many Korean people enjoy skiing, snow boarding and climbing.

2. Similarities
- I think both Americans and Koreans like watching movies.
- Both Americans and Koreans want to enjoy their life, so they spend lots of money to improve their life.

Compare/contrast education in the U.S. and your country

2005-07-06T07:34:00.000-07:00

Similarities
1. Both of the U.S and Korean education have a one teacher in a class.

2. Both of the U.S and Korean education system have 12 grades before student go to university.

3. Both of the U.S and Korean student are studying for a job.

4. Both of them study to improve their life.

Difficulties
1. Students in Korea are studying all subjects that are required, but students in the U.S who are studying in a class can study their favorites subjects as well as required subject.

The Rich & The Poor

2005-07-06T07:33:00.000-07:00

There are the poor and the rich in most countries. A developing or an advanced nation has more people who are the rich and the poor. In my country, more developmental they are coming out. There are some comparisons and contrasts in Korea.

First of all, because both the poor and the rich are human, so they want to be happy. For leading a life, that we need money is true but, the most important thing is happiness. And, they can get an education until highschool because it is a duty of education in my country; however, the poor have limits to receive an better education becuase of money. Also, both try to get a job and money for better life. But there are also limits. In other words, the goverment ignores the poor, whereas the rich receive a benefit from the goverment. For example, it is easy for the rich to get a loan at a bank because their credits are perfect; however, not the poor. Finally, while the poor are becoming poorer and poorer, the rich are becoming richer and richer because it is easy for the rich to get a job and money.

Until now, there are many problems that we have to solve. These are becoming a social problem. The goverment is trying to make the social security system better. However, the most important thing for both is that they have to respect each other as a human, as not money.

Comparison/Contrast C = Two aspects of life in my country.

2005-07-05T07:55:00.000-07:00

Comparison/Contrast

C = Two aspects of life in my country. Social state or police state?

In the United States people often ask me about the great idea of a socialized country, It does sound great, but there a lot of aspects in the whole idea, which do notwork at all.^^ All the people who lose their job, yes there is the government paying them around70% what they made while working a job, but also people who never worked in their whole lives are also allowed to have money from the state. And people who are not even from Germany go and get government money, which means my father, right now works for at lest 3 lazy people, and that can’t be right. Also the media works around politics; you only hear news on TV who absolutely fit (subject-verb agreement)in with the strategies of politician(use plural). On the other hand, you will never see a handicapped person on the street, there ^also no homeless, because the state has homes and housing for people who can’t work a job or don’t have a home also. Young people do not take drugs so much, because they are not relay around.

The poor and the rich

2005-07-05T07:18:00.000-07:00

Compare/contrast two aspects of life in your country.

Similarities

1. Both the poor and the rich want to be happy.

2. Both can get an education until a highschool because it is a duty of education in my country.

3. Both try to get a job and money for better life.

Differences

1. While the poor are becoming poorer and poorer, the rich are becoming richer and richer
because it is easy for the rich to get a job and money.

2. The goverment ignores the poor, whereas the rich receive a benefit from the goverment.
For example, it is easy for the rich to get a loan at a bank because their credits are perfect; however, not the poor.

Comparison/Contrast

2005-07-05T06:40:00.000-07:00

For this composition, you will need to choose one of the following topics:

A. Compare/contrast education in the U.S. and your country
B. Compare/contrast recreational activities (what people do in their spare time)in the U.S. and your country
C. Compare/contrast two aspects of life in your country.

Include at least four of the patterns we have practiced in class.

Happy 4th of July

2005-07-04T20:21:00.000-07:00

Hi Barbara, i was going to finish my Sherry cake resape, but i coulden`t find it!
so decidet to write somthing completly new.

Christin

Difference of driving between USA. And Thailand

2005-07-01T14:30:00.000-07:00

By Paul......
I was very confusing when I first arrived^ America. Many things in the US. differ from Thailand, especially driving the car. I have had to learn several things about it.
First, drivers in Thailand are on the right hand side of the car, but drivers in the US are on the left hand side. I was unfamiliar with driving in the US when I drove or sat. Because I had to drive keeping the right lane, whereas in Thailand I drove keeping the left lane. (fragment--combine with the previous sentence)Therefore, I had got to be careful specially and remind myself that I didn’t have to drive^ the wrong lane.
Second, the driving law in Thailand isn’t strict; however, the driving law in the US is very strict strongly. For example, if you drive in the US and see the stop sign, you will have to drive slowly and break. On the other hand, in Thailand you can drive through it if the roads empty.
Last, the pedestrians in Thailand have to look^ the right hand side first, whereas the pedestrians in the US have to look ^the left hand side first. This is quite a big problem for me because I had to change my thought when I crossed the road in the US.
All in all, Although I had some problems about driving, now I can adjust to drive safely and live in the US happily. I would suggest that whoever goes to other countries, he/she should study about details of those. What happens if you don’t know at all about your destination???

Driving the car in Thailand differs from in the USA

2005-07-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

July 1, 2005
Janthima Srisombat

Driving the car in Thailand differs from in the USA

The first time when I came to the USA, I knew immediately about the difference of driving in Thailand and in the USA. There are many differences in driving the car.

The first, the drivers in Thailand are on the right of the car, while the drivers in the USA are on the left of the car. As the result, the pedestrians in Thailand have to look^ the right first, whereas the pedestrians in the USA have to look ^the left first.

The second, most drivers in the USA will stop their cars in front of the stop sign; on the other hand, most drivers in Thailand don’t have to. That is good American drivers characteristic. Not only is it safe for the drivers, but the pedestrians too. It has not a doubt if I say that I am relaxed with crossing the road in the USA more than in Thailand.

The third, in Thailand the citizen(plural) have the driver license when they are 18 years old; however, in the USA the people can drive the car when they are only 16. I think the 16 years people are too young for driving because it causes for occurring the accident easily.

Finally, there are a lot of differences from driving car in the USA and in Thailand. So I suggest that people who come from Thailand should care driving and crossing the road more and more.

Paragraph Pattern from 6-27-05

2005-07-01T07:11:00.000-07:00

The size of the USA is so much bigger than Germany, on the other hand I am able to travel Germany in 12 hour's from south to the north, while you could not travel the USA in 12 hour's.
While I travel with pupilc transportation, Americans travel by car across the country.
While I am sitting in the train for 12 hour's driving throw tunnels, on the other hand people in the US got to see the beautiful country side. While i am in the train, i am going to have 3 meals, on the other hand americans go to an drive throw every houer (Christin, you don't need to use both while and on the other hand in the same sentence.)

word list link

2005-06-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

esl.about.com/library/vocabulary/bl1000_alph3.htm

Comparison/Contrast

2005-06-30T07:11:00.000-07:00

Comparison/Contrast

Patern 1

I have bad writing skills.
I think i can do much better.

Patern 2

Atlanta is not as nice as i expacted.
Atlanta dosent have any fun stuff to do.

Patern 3

Wheras i study grammer, others go to the beach.
While everybody is at the bech, i study grammer.

Words for indicating Contrast:

Even though i didden't feel well i did good on my test.
I diden't fellt good. Neverless, i did good on my test.

Comparison/Contrast

2005-06-28T12:48:00.000-07:00

By paul......

Pattern 1
- I have longer hair than Justin.
- I think that in Atlanta has less pollution than in Thailand.

Pattern 2
- Justin is not as smart as I when we take a quiz.
- Coke does not have as much carbonation as Pepsi.

Pattern 3
- Justin loves her girlfriend so much, whereas she loves another guy more.
- While someone eats to live, Justin lives to eat.

Although
- Although Bob fell down from the tenth building, he is still alive.

On the other hand
- Patrick eats a lot of foods; on the other hand, he is thin.

Different from
- Justin has a special talent different from others in his class.

However
- Tom is very rich; however, he is too stingy.

Just as
- Just as, people in America like to eat breads, people in Thailand prefer eat rice.

Like
- Kistin speaks English like an American speaker.

In the same way
- Buddhists like to go to temples when they want; in the same way, Christians like to go to church every Sunday.

and...too
- Sam doesn’t like to play basketball and me too. and neither do I

Comparison/ Contrast

2005-06-28T12:47:00.000-07:00

Janthima Srisombat
June 27, 2005

Comparison/Contrast

Pattern 1

- Tom Yum Kung is spicier than Pad Thai.
- Today she gives less money than last time.

Pattern 2

- He loves me as much as I love him.
- He does not have money as much as I have.

Pattern 3

- Whereas everyone tells me that Justin is handsome, I can’t agree with this statement.
- While good guys do homework every time, Justin doesn’t do his homework.

Words for indicating Contrast:

Even though
Even though the wallet is very expansive, my sister buys it for my birthday.

Nevertheless
It has a little chance to pass TOEFL, nevertheless Jane hopes to take exam in this month.

But
Peena is a beautiful woman(punctuation) but she is not attractive.

Different from
Tom looks different from last 10 years ago.

Words for indicating Comparison:

In the same way
Swimming helps your shape fit; in the same way, it makes your body be strong.

Just as
Just as Paul is reading the grammar book for^ test tomorrow, Justin is drinking beer with his friends. No, this is a contrast. Just as reflects similarity.

Be similar to
Alex’s behavior is similar to his father’s behavior in childhood.

Like
Jane is very kind like an angel.

2005-06-28T07:37:00.000-07:00

pattern1
Seoul is bigger than Daejon.
Seoul is more expensive than Daejon.

I have less money than I remembered.
Fewer people attended class today than yesterday.

pattern2
She is as attractive as a Hollywood actress.
I think he is as rich as a famous company’s owner.

pattern3
While I played soccer, he can use my computer. (Make these two verbs agree in time. )
While I like to play soccer, he prefers to use the computer.
Whereas I played basketball, my rival studied physics.

Comparison/Contrast

2005-06-28T07:27:00.002-07:00

Pattern 1
Seoul is more beautiful than Atlanta, but smaller.
I have less strength than I think.
There are fewer Fordsthan Hondas.

Pattern 2
I don't care as long as you love me.
I can drive as well as Michel Sumaha.

Pattern 3
While I was in Shanghai, Hbum was in the military.
I have a positive attitude whereas he thinks bad luck.

Words for indicating Contrast
Although you hate me, I love you.
You love me, but you don’t know who I am.
I love you; even though, you hate me. You don't need the punctuation marks.

Words for indicating Comparison

Comparison / Contrast

2005-06-28T07:27:00.001-07:00

Pattern 1
I am taller than O.
I am more handsome than Paul.

Paul has fewer girl friends than me.
O is less happy today than yesterday.

Pattern 2

My car is not as good as a BMW.
Paul is as ugly as O.

Pattern 3

While Paul got an F, I got an A+ in the final exam.
O doesn't have any friends, whereas I have many friends.

Words for indicating Contrast

O has no money; neverthless, she always looks so happy,
Paul and O live together in Atlanta, however they aren't married yet.

Words for indicating Comparison

O is similar to Julia Roberts.
Just as Paul like studying English, I like playing sports.

Comparison/Contrast

2005-06-28T07:27:00.000-07:00

Comparison and Contrast

2005-06-28T05:53:00.000-07:00

For today's assignment, we will work with sentence patterns and connectors which are useful for expressing comparison and contrast. Write two sentences for each of the patterns. You will also need to write a sentence using each of the words in the lists below the patterns.

In-class Writing TEST

2005-06-24T06:20:00.000-07:00

Using a word document, write a process essay that explains in clear steps the method for LOGGING IN AND CREATING A POST FOR A WEBLOG. Include tips, warnings and any useful observations which would make a new user more successful. Your grade will be based on the quality and amount of information which you include and your organization. BE CAREFUL.

Cause of cancer disease

2005-06-23T12:28:00.000-07:00

By Paul ...(cause/effect)

Nowadays, a cancer is No.2 and the leading cause of death for people around the world. It seems like a devil for someone who gets cancer because he/she must always take medicine and chemo therapy and pay a lot of money. Most people get cancer disease because of three main reasons:
First, when you have stress, you will get cancer. For example, if you always smoke, drink, and drug, you will cumulate many dangerous substances in your body and then lead to cancer. Besides, others who don’t smoke but^ close you probably risk being the lung cancer highly.
Second, someone doesn’t be careful about eating especially bad foods or junk foods. For example, if you prefer to eat grilled meat, you will have higher chance to get the large intestine cancer than anybody who likes to eat vegetables and fruits.
Last, the cancer results of genetic inheritance. If your parents get the cancer, you may be cancer. Therefore, you should check your health at least once a year and find some information for preventing it.
All in all, a cancer is dangerous disease for human beings but they can protect it.(protect against it) They should avoid smoking and some bad foods. Moreover, if they know that their parents get the cancer, they should take care themselves such as working out, making a mental condition happily, etc. I would suggest that medical researcher(use plural) should hurry up to find some excellent medicines for relieving suffering of anyone who got it.

Alternatives to Produce Energy

2005-06-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

Mario Lopez
06/23/05
Cause-Effect paper

Alternatives to Produce Energy

Energy affects all aspects of modern life. The demand for energy is increasing in relation to the growth of world population. For example, oil and gas are expected to continue to be important sources of energy. Today, electric power generation is based on non-renewable resources such as oil, coal, and nuclear power. New renewable energy generation options are commercially available right now. The share of renewable energy sources is expected to increase very significantly. Alternative energy technologies are being disseminated and many countries have an objective to reduce the use of traditional and commercial energy sources. For each country, the choice between the various available options is strongly dependent on the local characteristics. In addition, some experts estimate that people in twenty or thirty years will use alternative energy in their houses, cars, and factories. However, today our natural resources, like petroleum, are getting smaller everyday and the time to save the environment is finished too. It is time to find fast answers which protect the planet and some companies which give work to many people in the world.

Alternative energy is an excellent and necessary option for the future of energy business and environment. Hybrid autos and solar panels are good examples to describe some ways of alternative energy which will have positive effects on the environment and exploitation of natural resources. Also, alternative energy should represent a cheap option for consumers in the future. However, this option has some disadvantages(usually we use a comma before a final too) too. First, in the beginning every new product has a high cost. In other words, the new technology is expensive, like the hybrid car from Toyota or solar panels. It is a problem to common people who don’t have enough money to buy this kind of devices. However, implementing this kind of technology in the public transportation could or in the public electrical services be a good option to people who don’t have money. Second, every place around the word is different, and they have specifics conditions. For example, not is the same implement the solution of solar panels or wind propels in the poles than in a dessert like Arizona. The conditions are different (comma)and this technology has some specifics conditions in reference to the environment such as clime and topography on a specific place.

In conclusion, the government and the big companies that produce and use energy and use energy for their products have a responsibility to research new alternatives which don’t use fossil resources, like petroleum derivates. They must implement new(comma) creative and clean ways to produce energy to find new resources of energy which protect the environment and the pockets of consumers.

An environmental problem

2005-06-23T08:05:00.000-07:00

Janthima Srisombat
June 23, 2005

Main Idea: An environmental problem becomes a hot potato.

1. The people need to care of their health more than the past
2. The government spends a lot of money each year to make better the environmental problem
3. The natural environment is destroyed because of the industrial expanding, so all organisms are lost their inhabitation

An environmental problem

In the past, an environment problem was not attended by people because they can live with peace. When the number of population increases continual, it has many problems. An environmental problem is one of many problems; so it was raise to discuss as a big problem almost part of the world. I have three reasons to support why environmental problems are important.

Firstly, the people need to ^care of their health more than the past. Now a day; when consumers spend the money for food, actually they want to get the best thing. For example; when I go to the supermarket, I will pay attention to choose vegetable and meat without chemical and toxic contamination.

Secondly, the government spends a lot of money each year to make better the environmental problems. (word order)For example, the tax from citizen(use plural) was spent for buying modern technologies and tools in waste management.

Thirdly, the natural environment is destroyed because of the industrial expanding, so all organisms are lost their inhabitation. Land use is changes by the investor. For example, the canal was filled up with soil and become to the road for transportation. As a result, the tree and the organisms surrounding there were destroyed.

For conclusion, we should recognize about more and more. Otherwise; we will lose many things such as money, health, and all organisms. We should not think that environmental protection is government’s responsibility, in fact; it is individual’s responsibility. It is^ fact that what you give, you will get it.

The causes and effects for people get cold

2005-06-23T07:27:00.000-07:00

Cold is a common sickness for people, but do you know about the cold? Even in the present day, there is no speccific remedy for the cold. The medicines that the doctor gives you are only to moderate the cold, but they can't cure your cold. The resson that make you cure is the preotection from your body. The most important cause for you getting a cold is your body is weak. When your body is weak, the body from preotection will become weak. If your body preotection can't kill the germs faster than the speed they propagateing, then you will get the cold.

Cancer is bad friend for you.

2005-06-23T07:26:00.000-07:00

I would like to introduce about cancer.
Now cancer is No.2 and the leading cause of death for people.
Most people get cancer disease because of three main reasons.
If you don’t want to get cancer, your mind is very important.
You will feel happy. (use should here)That is good for your body.

First reason, when people get stress, they will drink, drug, and smoke.
Besides, someone who don’t smoke but ^close ^them probably ^get cancer disease.
For example, one woman who I knew didn’t smoke. But she got a cancer of the lung; because, her boyfriend smoked so many times.

Second reason, someone don’t be careful about eating some bad foods such as fast foods. For example, Japanese live more long than American(plural) because many kinds of foods of American have a lot of meats that they cause disease. On the other hand, most Japanese foods consist of vegetables and seafood.

Last reason, cancer disease result of genetic inheritance. If your parents get cancer, you may be this disease. For example, one people who I know had a cancer of lung. And his son has a same cancer. Doctor said “This disease is inheritance, you should prepare dead.

Cancer is^ dangerous disease for human beings but they can protect^^ it. They should avoid smoking and some bad foods. Moreover, if they know that their parents get cancer, they should take care themselves such as working out. Possibly you will take a cancer, you have to prepare!! You have to live happily.

Happy mind!! Happy body!!

Note to students

2005-06-23T06:15:00.000-07:00

I am going to use another mark in your edits: ^. This will be like the insertion mark which is used in hand grading. It means you need to add a word. If you need to add more than one word, I will use ^^.

The education of school : Private school & Public school

2005-06-22T07:42:00.000-07:00

Justin & Christin

For many years, education has been ^important thing. So most parents want their kids to get a high education. Much higher(use hyphen) educated people will be created by private school, at public school the education is not that high.

Kids are sent by their parents to boarding school, because of the high education young people will experience.The parents have to work a high paid job, to be able to pay the expensive fees.At puplic schools people study for free, because the state is paid for the school.Since kids study for free at public scools, the education is not that high.

In conclusion, you had better make sure you have rich parents. you can walk your way up to the good school, also it is not an easy.

Cancer...

2005-06-22T07:38:00.000-07:00

I want to talk about cancer. It is a very dangerous cause ^a higher rate of death. It has several causes. Nowadays, cancer is No. 2 and the leading cause of death for people. Most people get cancer disease because of three main reasons. The first reason is we have a lot of stress from business, school grade, men and women problems, family problems, and so on. When people get stress, they will smoke, drink, and drug. Especially, smoking is one of the biggest reasons. Beside, someone who don’t smoke but close them probably get cancer disease. The second reason is someone doesn’t be careful about eating some bad foods such as fast foods. For example, Japanese is the oldest in the world. Japanese live more long than American because Japanese eat a lot of vegetables, seafood and they eat a little meat. On the other hand, American eats a lot of meat and they eat a few vegetables, seafood. If you want to live longer, you have to eat a lot of vegetables and seafood. The last reason is cancer disease results of genetic inheritance. If your parents get cancer, you may be this disease. Cancer is a dangerous disease for human beings but they can protect it.

The Environmental Problem

2005-06-22T07:37:00.000-07:00

Cause and Effect

Main idea –Now a days, the environmental problem become a hot potato.

1. People need to care of their health more than the past.

2. The government spends a lot of money each year to make better the environmental problem.

3. The natural environment is destroyed because of the industrial expanding, so all organisms are lost their inhabitation.

The people are influenced by environment, so the environment is important for our living. However, you have a lot of environmental problems for the population growing; therefore, Now a day, the environmental problem becomes a hot potato. There are three reasons why the environmental problem becomes a hot potato.

First, the people need to ^care of their health more than the past. They want to live more wealth, so they think about their life and health. That is the people are interested in the environmental problem. The second reason, the government spends a lot of money each year to make better the environmental problem. For example, the government constructs the water treatment system for getting pure water. Most important reason is that the nature environment is destroyed because of the industrial expanding, so all organisms are lost their inhabitation. They live with us, but people think about only our convenience. For example, the tropical forest is destroyed to farm or build something.

We spend a lot of things to increase environmental problems, like money, time and labor. Our life goes on, not the end, so we should protect nature for our descendents. It is our responsibility and duty.

second draft
The people are influenced by environment, so the environment is important for our living. However, you have a lot of environmental problems from population growth; therefore, Now a day, the environmental problem becomes a hot potato. There are three reasons why the environmental problem becomes a hot potato.
First, the people need to take care of their health more than ^the past. They want to live more wealth, so they think about their life and health. That is ^the people are interested in the environmental problem. The second reason^, the government spends a lot of money each year to make better the environmental problem.(word order) For example, the government constructs the water treatment system for getting pure water.^ Most important reason is that the nature environment is destroyed because of the industrial expanding, so all organisms are lost their inhabitation. They live with us, but people think about only thier convenience. For example, the tropical forest is destroyed to farm or build something.
We spend a lot of things to increase environmental problems, like money, time and labor. Life goes on, naver ending, so we should protect nature for our descendents. It is our responsibility and duty.

CJ

2005-06-21T07:40:00.000-07:00

People have conflict with other people because they have different thinking.

People have different ways of thinking. As a result they have conflict with other people.

If people have different ways of thinking, then they will have conflict with others. ( use another word here, such as others)

People's conflicts result from different ways of thinking.

When people have different ways of thinking, then the conflict will exist between them.

patterns

2005-06-21T07:38:00.000-07:00

The dog is very dirty because he falls into the water.
When the dog is falls into the water, the dog is very dirty.
The dog falls into the water. As a result, he is very dirty.
If the dog falls into the he water, he will have a dirty body.
The dog’s dirty body results from falling into the water.

good

Cause effect sentence pattern

2005-06-21T07:21:00.000-07:00

When my father is leaving the house for work, my mother feels lonely.

If he would work less, my mother could enjoy him more.

When I train for sports a lot, I have a better chance to win the competition.

If I train too hard, I my hurt my muscles.

When I left Germany my friends were upset.

If I had never left Germany, I would never experience the beautiful culture of Americans.

Cause/effect sentence patterns

2005-06-21T04:23:00.000-07:00

In addition to because, these patterns can be used to indicate cause (reason) and effect (result).

1. when....(then)

2. as a result

3. if.....(then)

4. result(s) from + noun phrase (often a gerund phrase)

Examples:

The paint is so light because he added a lot of white.
When you add white paint, the color is lighter.
He added white paint. As a result, the color is light.
If you add white paint, (then) you will get a lighter color.
Light colors result from adding white pigment.

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAY

2005-06-20T17:42:00.000-07:00

With a partner, choose a topic on a social issue and make a topic sentence and an outline. Your effect (result) will be expressed in your topic (main idea) sentence. Try to find at least three causes for your subject and give clear examples(details)for each cause. Then summarize with a concluding sentence. This will create an informal outline for your essay. Here are some suggestions for topics: an environmental problem and its causes, a health issue and its causes, causes for a political or social problem, causes for a new trend in society, causes for the popularity of something.

Listen and Take Notes

2005-06-18T11:12:00.000-07:00

If your second draft of the process paragraph is complete, watch this "How-To" video and take notes. Listen especially for transition words and phrases that indicate special "tips" or "things to look out for" and see if they are helpful to the explanation. Would you be able to write a step-by-step guide on how to set up a blogger account for other students to follow?

Using computers in our class

2005-06-10T10:44:00.000-07:00

Mario Lopez
06/09/05
Writing

Topic: Using Computers in Our Class

We [g1] meet in a computer classroom every day per week, so we have the opportunity to use computers as we develop our writing skills. In doing so, there are several important things to remember. Then, the purpose of this is to remind of you some rules for using of the computers of(article) language institute.

First [g2] , you need to be aware that when you log in to any computer at Georgia Tech Institute, you must log off when you finish. If do you not log off, some one else can use your ID to either print out your own work or access inappropriate internet sites. Also, another user might use your ID to access websites that either spread virus or that have inappropriate content like pornographic material. It is important to always log off any computer when you are ready to leave.

Another [g3] important rule concerns about personal use of the computers during classes time. Do not check email, go to chat rooms, or do work for other class. You may go the computer lab at other times different from class to do these things, or use a few minutes before or after class. The purpose for this restriction is to keep the focus during class on the activities we are working on. It can also be distracting for other students if you are doing other activities during class.

Finally [g4] , you should use the form that you feel most comfortable with when we have writing activities in class. For example, some people prefer writing on paper while others prefer using the computer. However, the computer will be used when is the time to publisher our drafts in the Blogger website. If you have any difficulties during your time in class, please ask for help from your teacher to disscus it.

[g1]Introduction

[g2]Body 1

[g3]Body 2

[g4]Conclusion

Mario Lopez
06/10/05
Writing

Topic: Using Computers in Our Class

Second Draft

We meet in a computer classroom every day per week, so we have the opportunity to use computers as we develop our writing skills. In doing so, there are several important things to remember. The purpose of this is to remind you of some rules for using the computers from the Language Institute.

First, you need to be aware that when you log in to any computer at Georgia Tech Institute, you must log off when you finish. If do you not log off, some one else can use your ID to either print out your own work or access inappropriate internet sites. Also, another user might use your ID to access websites that either spread virus or that have inappropriate content like pornographic material. It is important to always log off any computer when you are ready to leave.

Another important rule concerns about personal use of the computers during class time. Do not check email, go to chat rooms, or do work for other class. You may go the computer lab at other times different from class to do these things, or use a few minutes before or after class. The purpose for this restriction is to keep the focus during class on the activities we are working on. It can also be distracting for other students if you are doing other activities during class.

Finally, you should use the form that you feel most comfortable with when we have writing activities in class. For example, some people prefer writing on paper while others prefer using the computer. However, the computer will be used when is the time to publish our drafts in the Blogger website. If you have any difficulties during your time in class, please ask for help from your teacher to discuss it.

How to ride a motorcycle

2005-06-10T07:32:00.000-07:00

I like to ride motorcycles, but most people think that they are too dangerous, however I don’t think that because when you ride a motorcycle, you can be careful. There are many kinds of motorcycles. You can learn easily or you can have trouble learning. Some motorcycles have a clutch. If you ride that, you will learn hard. First, you have to rid fear of motorcycles. If you have fear of motorcycles, you will be in a dangerous situation. Also, you have to put on a helmet before (you) start to drive the motorcycle. If you don’t put it on, you will get a ticket from a police officer and you will be(is there a word missing here?) when you have an accident. Second, you have to support the motorcycle with your feet. You have to grab the clutch and start the motorcycle. When driving the motorcycle, you should chage gear. The motorcycle drive similar to driving a car. When you meet a corner, you must reduce speed, and you have to be careful. If you don't reduce speed, and you don't be careful, you will have an accident or you will fly out of a road. You have to fill up the motorcycle with gas. It is similar to filling a car. ( Your organization is a little confusing. What is your main idea?)

2005-06-10T07:09:00.000-07:00

My hobby anime

For me, drawing is my favorite hobby, also I'm especially good at it. My drawing is not the realistic drawing. It is the comic drawing, but my style it is Japanese style. It is call “anime.” Japanese style comic usually is not for the children. It is usually for the teenagers or the adult, because it has deeper meaning and some of them have fighting.you spe
If you want to start learn about the anime drawing. First you need to know about you speciality to chose what types of comic you should drawing. If you(verb) good at drawing and you can try to drawing you own style. Not to try to copy other people’s style then you will be striking one. If you don’t have good drawing skill, you can try to selling you ideas. Just like 4 squares comic. It(verb?) always short(comma) but you need some good ideas for attract the reader.
The first important tool is(article) pen. There are many kinds of pen, but every one well use is pencil first. Pencils are using for making the sketches. It is not the final drawing, so it is not an important thing. For Japanese anime, there is no any color in the comic, so the lines become more important than the color one. The Japanese anime drawer will use the special pen call “G-pen.” It can make different thicknesses depending on how mach power you use. The other pen is the fountain pen. This kind of pen usually is for drawing the out side squares. It is easy to use. But for the new drawer, please don’t use this kind of pen for drawing your whole picture. This kind of pen is easy to use, but the characters will look like stiff and unlively.
Next is correction fluid, this is for if you have mistake then this will help you out. You need to be careful about with kind fluid you need to use. There are two basic kind of fluids, white out and white poster paint. For the link used by G-pen you will need to use white poster paint, because the link won’t stay on the white out so well.

==================================================================

My hobby anime

For me, drawing is my favorite hobby, also I’m especially good at it. My drawing is not the realistic drawing. It is the comic drawing, but my style it is Japanese style. It is call “anime.” Japanese style comic usually is not for the children. It is usually for the teenagers or the adult, because it has deeper meaning and some of anime have fighting.
If you want to start learn about the anime drawing, first you need to know about your specialities to chose what types of comic you should drawing. If you are good at drawing then you can try to drawing you own style. To try not to copy other people’s style make you self be striking one. If you don’t have good drawing skill, you can sell you ideas, like 4 squares comic. It will always short, but you need some good ideas for attracting the reader.
The most important tool is pen. There are many kinds of pen, but every one will use the pencil first. Pencils are the pen for making the sketches. It is not the final drawing, so it is not an important thing. For Japanese anime, there is no any color in the comic, so the lines become more important than the color anime. The Japanese anime drawer will use the special pens name “G-pen.” It can make different thicknesses depending on how hard you use. The other pen is the fountain pen. This kind of pen usually is for drawing the out side squares. It is easy to use. But for the new drawer, please don’t use this kind of pen for drawing your whole picture. This kind of pen is easy to use, but the characters will look more stiff and unlively.
Next is correction fluid. This is for you have mistakes then this will help you out. You need to be careful about what kind fluid you need to use. There are two basic kind of fluids, white out and white poster paint. For the ink used by G-pen you will need to use white poster paint, because the ink won’t stay on the white out so well.

How to Enjoy SCUBA Diving

2005-06-10T07:08:00.000-07:00

I have loved the sea since I was young, and I dreamed of underwater cities like Atlantis. This city was covered a glass dome; therefore, everybody could see the whole seascape. There were a lot of coral and fish. Schools of fish swam between the coral reef. After I entered the university, I joined CUDA (Chungnam National University Diving Association) in 2001 and my diving life began. SCUBA means self-contained underwater breathing apparatus and the main equipment are mask, snorkel, BCD, fin, wetsuit, regulator, weight belt and air tank. Now I will tell you how you can dive. Diving is a really dangerous sport without practice. An unexpected situation might occur when you dive, so before going to the sea, you must practice a lot to overcome the difficulty. In my case, I usually practice in the diving pool, 17 feet deep, near my university once a month. Now that you’ve finished your practice, let’s go to the sea. First, you must choose a beautiful place before going to the sea. Generally, the islands near the equator are amazing. There is place like my dream, so if I were you, I would go to Guam in the Pacific. After arriving, you should get enough rest because you will expend a lot of energy during diving. Then, maybe the next day, you can begin diving. Before diving, you should check your body and equipment, and listen to your guide to find out when to sink, go, and float. You have to dive with a native guide because he/she knows the local situation and what place is good. After you sink, just enjoy your diving but be careful about sudden rising. This is really dangerous when you dive. There are two reasons why you avoid sudden rising. The first reason is in 10M underwater, the pressure becomes two times greater than at the surface. It means you breathe in two times more air while underwater; however, your lung is same size. Therefore, if you go up suddenly, the pressure decreases, which causes the air in your lungs to get bigger, and your lungs will explode. The other reason you should avoid sudden rising is nitrogen. Nitrogen comprises 70% of the air, so it is dissolved in your blood. When you go up suddenly, the nitrogen fills up your blood vessels because of the pressure change. Don’t be afraid about this. This rarely occurs if you practice hard. After you dive, you should rest for 2 to 3 hours to return to your normal nitrogen rate, and you should not go on an airplane for a half day for same reason.
SCUBA diving is a wonderful sport. You can experience another world by SCUBA diving. You can swim with tropical, colorful fish and sea turtles. Then, you will feel like a fish yourself! I hope you can enjoy your diving by this article.

“PAD-THAI”

2005-06-09T12:49:00.000-07:00

8 JUNE, 2005
Janthima Srisombat

How to make a family recipe?

1. It is Thai food.
2. The kind of food that I introduce is noodle.
3. I have a secret special recipe which you cannot know from anywhere.
4. There are three main parts to know
- Preparing the ingredient
- Stirring-fry
- Decorating the plate
5. It is not difficult to try cooking by yourself; however, it is not easy to cook it deliciously.
6. Not only do Thais love eating Pad-Thai, but foreigners prefer and feel fascinated by its tasteHow to make a family recipe?

“PAD-THAI”

In my country, Thailand, there are many kinds of the traditional food that it is(subject-verb agreement) popular. One of these foods that I would introduce you is Pad-Thai. Its name means “Frying noodle in Thai style”. If you love noodle food, you should try it at once in your life. It is suitable for every age because it is easy to eat. In fact, not only do Thais love eating Pad-Thai, but foreigners prefer and feel fascinated by its taste. I don’t know what true main reason make them attracted. However, I can imply that it has a lot of ingredients so they feel delicious while they are eating. As a result, it consists of noodle, bean sprouts, ground roasted bean, bean curd, eggs, shrimp, dried shrimps, and so on. Another reason is that some of ingredients can help the digest of body such as tamarind juice, lime, banana blossom, chopped chives. In Thailand, you can find Pad-Thai(preposition) both sidewalks and restaurants. By the way, if you want to enjoy cooking your own, I can tell how to cook it and make it delicious. There are three main parts to you should know: preparing the ingredient, stirring-fry, and decorating the plate.

Preparing the ingredients:
- Rice noodle ½ package
- Chopped chives 2 tablespoons
- Ground roasted bean 3 tablespoons
- 1 egg
- Lemon or lime 1 slice
- Sugar 2 tablespoons
- Fish sauce 2 teaspoons
- Tamarind juice
- bean sprouts
- bean curd
- Shrimp
- Dried shrimps
- Banana blossom

Second Draft

20 JUNE, 2005
Janthima Srisombat

How to make a family recipe?

“PAD-THAI”

In my country, Thailand, there are many kinds of the traditional food that are popular. One of these foods that I would introduce to you is Pad-Thai. Its name means “Frying noodle in Thai style”. If you love noodle dishes, you should try it once in your life. It is suitable for every age because it is easy to eat. In fact, not only do Thais love eating Pad-Thai, but foreigners prefer and feel fascinated by its taste. I don’t know what true main reason makes them attracted. However, I can infer that it has a lot of ingredients such as noodle, bean sprouts, ground roasted bean, bean curd, eggs, shrimp, dried shrimps, and so on so they feel the food is delicious while they are eating. Another reason is that some ingredients can help the digestive system of the body such as tamarind juice, lime, banana blossom, chopped chives. In Thailand, you can find Pad-Thai along both sidewalks and restaurants. By the way, if you want to enjoy cooking your own, I can tell how to cook it and make it delicious. There are three main parts you should know: preparing the ingredient, stirring-fry, and decorating the plate.

Preparing the ingredients:
- Rice noodle ½ package
(You should soak the noodle in the cold water at least 1 hour so that it is soft)
- Chopped chives 2 tablespoons
- Ground roasted bean 3 tablespoons
- 1 egg
- Lemon or lime 1 slice
- Sugar 2 tablespoons
- Fish sauce 2 teaspoons
- Tamarind juice
- bean sprouts
- bean curd 2 teaspoons
- Shrimp
- Dried shrimps 2 teaspoons
- Banana blossom
- Paprika
- Soup stock 3 teaspoons
- Carrot
- Coriander
- Oil

Stirring-fry:
First, heat a pan, pour the oil and wait until it ishot. Next; put bean curd, dried shrimps, and shrimps together. You stir-fry them until their color is changed or look well done. However, you should check the heat all the time while you are stirring. If it is over hot, it may be burnt and black. Then, you should get the shrimps out of the pan; otherwise they may be sticky. The next step, add the noodles and try to stir them quickly. Add tamarind juice, soup stock, fish sauce, sugar, ground roasted bean. I suggest that you have to taste your food when you are cooking and add ingredients gradually. Then, you mix and stir them about 1 minute. In order to make it healthful, you should put some vegetable such as chopped chives, bean sprouts, and carrots and mix them together. After that spread out the mixture on one side. Break the egg shell; put it in the other side of the pan. Cook total mixture and wait until the egg sets. Finally, you have to continue cook with medium heat for 2 minutes.

Decorating the plate:
When you finished working, you put Pad-Thai in the dish. Put the shrimp on the top. Sprinkle the ground roasted bean, chopped chives, bean sprouts, and coriander. Add the slice lemon, banana blossom, and paprika at the side of dish.
And…It’s time to enjoy eating ~Pad Thai~

Tip

To make more delicious, I have two secret matters to tell you about Pad-Thai. The first, you should use charcoal to heat because it will have smell better than heat from gas or electricity. The latter is that you should eat while it is still hot. The cause is that the noodle is soft, ground roasted bean have good smelling.

By Janthima Srisombat

Tom Yum Kung by Pong

2005-06-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

It would be more difficult to find any Bangkokians who have never recognized Tom Yum Kung. Not only is Tom Yum Kung well noted among Bangkok residents, but it is also popularly known among international visitors to Thailand as the symbol of national Thai food. It is a special spicy soup and has a lot of herbs. By the way, My family often likes to cook and eat Tom Yum Kung every week. Because my(put my before household) most members of household love to eat spicy foods, so it is not strange that Tom Yum Kung would be one of such spicy foods. My family recipe has a special formula to cook light (without milk) Tom Yum Kung that(subject) can’t find anywhere. Now , are you ready ? Let’s make Tom Yum Kung in my style.(good introduction)
First step, to prepare ingredients for Tom Yum Kung is easy to find in Thailand. Its main ingredients consist of shrimps , mushrooms , lemongrass , pork stock , lime leaves , green peppercorn , red onion , ginger, galingale , salt , fish sauce , lime juice , cilantro leaves and water. In portion , I can’t specify certainly , it depends on number of consumers and some desired taste.
Outline
1. My family like to cook and eat Tom yum kung every week.
2. Tom Yum Kung is one of symbol Thai foods.
3. Tom Yum Kung is a special spicy soup and has a lot of herbs.
4. Tom Yum Kung has 2 types : thick and light.
5. My family recipe has a special formula to cook Tom yum kung that can’t find anywhere.
6. Not only is Tom yum kung delicious , but it also make healthy be strong.
7. How to cook it for me is very easy because when my mother did it , I would often help her to prepare ingredients and remember the way to cook it.
8. Its main ingredients consist of shrimps , mushrooms , lemongrass , pork stock , lime leaves , green peppercorn , red onion , ginger , salt , fish sauce , lime juice , cilantro leaves and water.
9. You should eat it hot because it will taste better.

Second draft

Tom Yum Kung by Pong.......

It would be difficult to find any Bangkokians who have never heard of Tom Yum Kung. Not only is Tom Yum Kung well-noted among Bangkok residents, but it is also popularly known among international visitors to Thailand as the symbol of national Thai food. It is a special spicy soup and has a lot of herbs. By the way, my family often likes to cook and eat Tom Yum Kung every week. Because most members of my household love to eat spicy foods, so it is not strange that Tom Yum Kung would be one of such spicy foods. My family recipe has a special formula to cook light (without milk) Tom Yum Kung that it can’t be found anywhere. Now , are you ready ? Let’s make Tom Yum Kung in my style.
First step: These ingredients needed to prepare Tom Yum Kung are easy to find in Thailand. Its main ingredients consist of shrimps , pork stock , sliced straw mushrooms , minced lemongrasses , minced lime leaves , green peppercorn , smashed red onion , smashed ginger, smashed galingale , minced hot green Thai chili peppers , roasted chili paste , salt , fish sauce , lime juice , chopped cilantro leaves and water. In portion, I can’t specify certainly; it depends on number of consumers and some desired taste.
Second step: This step is cooking Tom Yum Kung. Firstly, you have to simmer water and pork stock in a pot over medium heat about 10 minutes. Next, adding the lemongrasses , lime leaves , green peppercorn , red onion , ginger ,and galingale boil about 5 minutes. Then, put in the shrimps , mushrooms ,and roasted chili paste simmer to continue over medium heat until shrimps are pink through. After that, you should take the pot off the stove and put the salt , fish sauce , lime juice , and hot green Thai chili peppers so that the heat will reduce their wonderful taste. Lastly, you could taste it and add more of such ingredients if you want.
After finishing that second step ,you should eat it immediately while it is hot by pouring the soup into the bowl and garnishing with cilantro leaves. As a result, you get the perfect taste from it and you will remember it forever when you feel hungry. I would suggest that you all shouldn't miss to eat it because it has a lot of benefits for you health. Enjoy eating ….. Tom Yum Kung !!

By Paul....Thai

yusunlee( process paragraph)

2005-06-09T08:01:00.000-07:00

process paragraph

Do you know Korean food Kim chi?
Kim chi is popular and traditional in Korea side food that made spicy from cabbage.
Korean people always eat Kim chi, and they like it(punctuation here) also that is my favorite thing too.
So, today I will introduce Korean style Kim chi fried rice. If you make that, you will make that easy.
First, when you make for one person, you will prepare chop up the one half head of Kim chi and then you mice onion, spam, bell paper, and red paper according to your liking.
Second, after you heat the pan and put the olive oil, then you can put down theses stuffs.
When you put the rice, you can mix them. (Do you need to cook the rice first?)
Finally, you will put the salt and black paper on your Kim chi fried rice. Enjoy your food!

Out ilne
Do you know “kim chi”?
Today I will introduce Korean style Kim Chi fried rice.
Korean people usually eat this food because it uses Kim chi.

Ingredients:

-You prepare for one person.
-chop up the one half head of Kim chi
-cook rice for one person
-mice the onion, ham, bell paper,.( according to one’s liking )
-3 spoon olive oil, blackpaper, 1 teaspoon sesame oil and salt properly

How to Enjoy SCUBA

2005-06-09T07:41:00.000-07:00

Introduction
- I have loved the sea since I was young -> I dreamed an underwater city like Atlantis
- Before I entered U.V., I joined CUDA ( Chungnam national University Diving Association )
- Def. of SCUBA : Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus
- Equipment ( mask, snorkel, BCD, fin, wetsuit, regulator, air tank)

Detail

- Before going to the sea, you must practice a lot
- Choosing a place and date
- Check your body and equipment
- Notice diving road
- Decide how long you stay underwater
- You should dive with a guide
- When you finish diving, you should take a break for several hours
- After you dive, you must not go on an airplane for 6 hours because of nitrogen
Conclusion

- SCUBA diving is an wonderful sport
- Enjoy your diving

How to make a family recipe?(Rice cake soup)

2005-06-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

How to make a family recipe?

Rice Cake Soup(Tteokkuk)

1. It is Korean food.
2. The kind of food that I explain is a rice soup.
3. I have a secret special recipe which you cannot eat .(why?)
4. I introduce four main sentences.
-Basic Ingredients
-For seasoned soy sauce
-Secret special recipe
-Cooking Point
5. I’m sure that you like it. (just kidding.)
6. This food is eaten in celebrate day or normal life.
7. This food has a mean of particular in New Year's Day.
8. Sometimes our family cook this food to add dumplings.

Black forest cherry cake!

2005-06-08T07:47:00.000-07:00

Black forest Cherrie Cake

To bake a black forest cake you have to have German burned Schnapps ( Brandy),
Which you only can get in the Black forest, that’s way it is so special to eat a black forest cake.
You also will need a lot off hand made whip, and chocolate cake powder mix.
Start out wit mixing the chocolate powder mix with 1 ½ cups of milk and 4 eggs.
Mix all of the ingredients till there is a stiff, batter .
Let(article)batter stay like it is for a minute, while you start the whip, it is very easy, you go had and mix it till its creamy. (divide this sentence)

Let's go snowbording!

2005-06-08T07:13:00.000-07:00

I like winter and sport, so in winter, I often go snowbording with my friends. It is exciting and fantastic, so I'd like to explain how to do snowboarding to you.

First of all, you have to prepare some equipment: boots, binding, deck, clothes, goggle, gloves(plural), helmet and so on. If you don't have them, you don't have to buy them, because you can borrow them in a snowboard shop.

Next, after you wear them, if you do it for the first time, you had better snowboard in the lower part of the slope, not to take a lift. Then, there is BBP, it means Balanced Body Position. Spread your arms and bend your knees a little bit, but straighten yourself.

Then, if you are ready, Next is Side-Slipping. When you assume the position, BBP, and face the lower slope(not clear), you can go down automatically. And then, raise your toe. If you do so, you will stop it. On the contrary, when you face the higher slope, if you raise your heel, you will also stop it. These are Toe-side-slipping(or Back-side-slipping) and Heel-side-slipping(or Front-side-slipping).

Second draft

Next, after you wear them, if you do it for the first time, you had better snowboard in the lower part of the slope, not take a lift. Then, there is BBP which means Balanced Body Position. Spread your arms and bend your knees a little bit, but straighten yourself.

Then, if you are ready, next is Side-Slipping. When you assume the position, BBP, and face the lower slope, you can go down automatically. And then, raise your toe. If you do so, you will stop moving. On the contrary, when you face the higher slope, if you raise your heel, you will also stop it. These are Toe-side-slipping(or Back-side-slipping) and Heel-side-slipping(or Front-side-slipping).

Process Paragraph

2005-06-08T06:37:00.000-07:00

For your Process paper, you will need to write about one of the following:
1. How to make a family recipe This will be posted in http://Sharecooking.blogspot.com when the second draft is finished.
2. How to do or make something traditional in your culture
3. Your hobby and how to do it
4. Another topic by approval

Your paper should also include an introduction which will make the reader want to learn what you are explaining. One way is to ask a question which will make the reader curious. Another is to tell why it is special to you. In addition, you will need one or two sentences as a conclusion.

You will need to use transition words such as first, next , finally to explain the process.
You also should use at least two modal forms, such as may,might, can, will, have to. (see your grammar book p. 151)

High Museum of Art

2005-06-03T10:45:00.000-07:00

06-02/05
Mario Lopez

Writing - class

High Museum of Art

Last year, I went to the High Museum of Art in Atlanta. It is located on Peachtree ST, near to my home. I met with my friend Joel and together we went to the museum. At the museum’s entry, we paid eight dollars per person, and a man showed us that the main exhibition was Glories of Ancient Egypt. This exhibition was from October 9, of 2004 to January 26, of 2005. Before you go to the exhibition, a woman gives us a tape recorder that you can hear the history about every object exhibited. (You changed tenses --are you going to use past tense or simple present?)It is so interesting because can listen and see objects that evoke the splendor of Egyptian art and funerary practices over a period of 4200 years. In addition, the works of art range in date from third millennium B.C to the 4th century AD, from the formation of the Egyptian sate to the advent of Christianity.

A number of objects in the exhibition derive from this period. The show contains an exceptional fragment of an obelisk belonging to one of the few female pharaohs. In addition, to outstanding examples of New Kingdom sanctuary, relief, and vessels, the exhibition also contains kohl pots, mirrors, and jewelry that was used everyday by ancient Egyptians to beatify them selves (one word). It is amazing when do you think about how they did to created objects to sanctuary and relief(not clear), to coffins, the funerary arts and daily life objects.

On the other hand, you can see another exhibition from an artists to French sub realism such as Monet and Renau. This is a fantastic exhibition which was a great experience for my knowledge and to improve my English. There, I can talk in English with my partner and also everything which I did in the museum was in English. I recommend this place for everyone because it is a perfect opportunity to enjoy and learn a little about interesting themes around art.

Second Draft

High Museum of Art

Last year, I went to the High Museum of Art in Atlanta. It is located on Peachtree ST, near to my home. I met with my friend Joel and together we went to the museum. At the museum’s entry, we paid eight dollars per person, and a man showed us that the main exhibition was Glories of Ancient Egypt. This exhibition was from October 9, of 2004 to January 26, of 2005. Before you go to the exhibition, a woman gave us a tape recorder which explained the history about every object in the exhibition. It is so interesting because(need a subject) can listen and see objects that evoke the splendor of Egyptian art and funerary practices over a period of 4200 years. In addition, the works of art range in date from third millennium B.C to the 4th century AD, from the formation of the Egyptian sate to the advent of Christianity.

A number of objects in the exhibition derive from this period. The show contains an exceptional fragment of an obelisk belonging to one of the few female pharaohs. In addition, to outstanding examples of New Kingdom sanctuary, relief, and vessels, the exhibition also contains kohl pots, mirrors, and jewelry that were used everyday by ancient Egyptians to beautify themselves. It is amazing when you think about how they created objects such as, coffins, the funerary arts and daily life objects.

On the other hand, you can see another exhibition of French surrealist artists such as Monet and Renau. This is a fantastic exhibition which was a great experience for my knowledge and to improve my English. There, I can talk in English with my partner and also everything which I did in the museum was in English. I recommend this place for everyone because it is a perfect opportunity to enjoy and learn a little about interesting themes around art.

The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco

2005-06-02T11:54:00.000-07:00

First Draft

When I first came to America in december 2003, I went to many fantastic places; San Francisco, Los Angeles, Yosemite national park, Las Vegas, Atlanta and so on. All places where I went to remained in my memory, but one of the most fatastic places was San Francisco. So today, I'd like to introduce Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.

I went to Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco with my family. It was the most beautiful scene I have never seen before. We had a tour guide who has lived in San Francisco for 15 years. He did the cicerone for us and told about Golden Gate Bridge. When we first saw(article) bridge, we were surprised that it was beautiful. It was(article) very long and big bridge I have never seen (what?)before. It looked like a bony red mountain. Many guls were flying near it. Many sightseers took a picture and walked near bridge. We took a tour bus and crossed bridge. (articleTour guide said when many cars cross bridge, sometimes it quakes fearfully. And then, we were surprised one more. It was unbelievable that such a big bridge can quake.

After that, we went aboard an white excursion steamer and sight-saw(we don't havwe a past form for this so you just have to say went sightseeing). There is the Alcatraz where came out movie is The Rock near bridge. The Alcatraz had been(article prison which no one escaped. (articleTour guide said many years ago one man tried to escape but no one knew if he succeeded or not. Everyone who knows it thinks he may died. Anyway, we took a picture in excursion steamer and went to(article buttom of(article bridge, then we past under a bridge. When we looked at it close at hand, it was really really big and long.
After finishing to go aboard a excursion steamer, there were many big, blue seals near the wharf. More surprise thing was they were on the rock near a restaurant, so people fed(article seals.

After(article tour, it gives to me a deep impression, so I never forget such many things. If you have a time, you are sure to go there.

Second Draft

When I first came to America in December 2003, I went to many fantastic places: San Francisco, Los Angeles, Yosemite National Park, Las Vegas, Atlanta and so on. All places where I went remained in my memory, but one of the most fantastic places was San Francisco.

So today, I'd like to introduce The Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.

I went to Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco with my family. It was the most beautiful scene I have ever seen before. We had a tour guide who has lived in San Francisco for 15 years. He gave us a guided tour and told about Golden Gate Bridge. When we first saw the bridge, we were surprised that it was beautiful. It was a very long and big. I have never seen it before. It looked like a bony red mountain. Many gulls were flying near it. Many sightseers took a picture and walked near bridge. We took a tour bus and crossed bridge. Our tour guide said when many cars cross a bridge, sometimes it quakes fearfully. And then, we were surprised once again. It was unbelievable that such a big bridge can quake.

After that, we went aboard a white excursion steamer and went sightseeing. The Alcatraz where the movie, The Rock, was filmed was near bridge. The Alcatraz had been a prison which no one escaped. A tour guide said many years ago one man tried to escape but no one knew if he succeeded or not. Everyone who knows it thinks he may have died. Anyway, we took a picture on excursion steamer and went under the bridge. When we looked at it close at hand, it was really really big and long. After finishing to go aboard an excursion steamer, there were many big, blue seals near the wharf. What was the most surprising thing was they were on the rock near a restaurant, so people fed the seals.

After our tour, it gave to me a deep impression, so I never forget such things. If you have time, you are sure to go there.

Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco

2005-06-02T07:59:00.000-07:00

OUTLINE

I'd like to introduce Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.
I went to Golden Gate Bridge in December 2003.
It looked like a bony red mountain.
Many guls were flying near it.
When many cars cross bridge, sometimes it quakes fearfully.
Many sightseers took a picture and walked near bridge.
Some sightseers went aboard an white excursion steamer and sight-saw.
There is Alcatraz where came out movie is The Rock.

Piedmont Park

2005-06-02T07:57:00.000-07:00

Every morning at six I will get up, gad my dog and drive to Piedmont Park.
The reason way I chose(since you are using the present tense for habitual action, choose would be better) Piedmont Park is, because there is a big dog park inside off it, so all the dogs are allowed to run unleashed and Play with all the other dogs. To me this is really relaxing, I can sit on benches in the sun(comma) meet people and watch my dog have his best time during his day.
Piedmont Park has a big lake which spreads out quiet and comfortable, (this is missing some kind of connective)nice vibes to me, plus my dog loves to swim.
At Piedmont Park I have time for my self to think about what ever(one word) I feel like, and I can concentrate on thinks so much better while I am in nature.

Demonstration C.

2005-06-02T07:56:00.000-07:00

I had to work all week when everybody got ready for the big demonstration coming up the following weekend. For the past month I hadn't heard anything besides people talking about the weekend when the Nazis were coming in town to have a speech . To me it was really interesting to find out what the Nazis are about these days!
But I think I was the only person in my office how looked at it this way, everybody also was ready to fight, without knowing what they are going to talk about.
When it got closer to the weekend, I could see people go nuts, buying flags, building groups, dancing on the street. I also heard people talking about , throwing same explosion in to a super market so the city will stop the speech, because of security reasons.
This Saturday early in the morning I could hear motorcycles passing by my house.
Groups off people like clubs or organizations worked by singing and yelling stuff.
The whole city was loud, and music was blasting from every direction. Everybody was out drinking beer and gad ready for the 2pm speech. Around 1:30pm all the people worked close to the transitions, no fast working was possible, the city was to grouted.
At the trainstation people were throwing bottles at the still empty stage, I could hear
racist music in the back.
In the city off Freiburg were 98000 humenbeings demonstrating, it was big.
All the demonstrates will make(past tense) so much noise, and yelling, there was no way to understand anything. This was going on for like one hour, and it turned out the 50 Nazis will just leave
because they were over noised so thery were not Abel to speak at all.
Everybody was happy and kept on partying and celerbrating the kick out off(the kicking out of) the Nazis this afternoon.
Over all ican see way people go crazy when it comes to Nazis , but than again Germany is an demarcroce country, and I think everybody shut have the right to say what they have to say.
I now what the Nazis have ben all about in the 1940`s but I have no idea what there are about today because no one lets them talk!

My family's kitchen

2005-06-02T07:54:00.000-07:00

I am going to introduce my family’s kitchen. My family has a big kitchen which has many machines. This kitchen(can ypu use a pronoun here?) has a refrigerator, microwave, and gas range. Our refrigerator and microwave are made by LG company. Our refrigerator’s name is DIOS. And our gas range is made by Samsung company. I think our kitchen is the most fascinating room. It is inside of my house.(Now, David,of course it is inside. You don't need this)
It was redesigned 4years ago and looks like very modern kitchen.
My mother uses the microwave to cook. My mother’s cooking ability is very good. I like her dumplings, “Boodezzigae”. they are made with ham, Kimchi, and bean. My kitchen’s smells very good. I can’t explain this smell. Anyway this smell is very attractive. My mother likes our kitchen. After I came here to the USA, maybe it has changed so many things. I heard My father bought a new microwave for my mother. I want to cook food to use kitchen stuff.
After I will come back(to) my country, I want to have a kitchen.
I will also cook food myself.
And I want to improve our kitchen stuff for my mother.(Better not to start a sentence witih AND)
You need to make longer and more comples sentences and try to keep your ideas more focused.)

yeh poem

2005-06-02T07:36:00.000-07:00

My painting…

There has only one person in the painting.
That person has a pair of wings.
One of the wing(need plural) looks like an Angel’s wing.
One of the wing(need plural) looks like a Demon’s wing.

The setting looks like a sky and ocean,
But it is not. (O.K. I know you are making this a poem, but I have to tell you that for regular writing, this is considered incomplete. For the assignment, you need to apply the correct grammar. Then if you want, you can change it back to a more poetic form.)
The ocean should be blue,
But the ocean is red, a bloody red.
The sky should be straight,
But the sky is crooked, a crooked chaos.

The meaning in the painting…
The person nither an Angel nor a Demon.
The sky and the ocean is a chaos place.
The meaning in the painting…
...is “ Human ”

The name for this painting is " the human .'' The main person in the painting has a pair of wings. One of the wing is looks likes an Angel's wing, and the other one is a Demon's wing. This is my own personal emblem. You can see it in my painting all the time.
Many people ask me what it main when they frist time saw the painting. I will tell them the name of the painting. Most of them will know the main of the wings, but they never know about the setting, " bloody red ocean, crooked sky, and the crosses."The people didn't get the meaning . I will tell them about the wings, but never expain about the setting. I hope one day somebody will konw the setting's meaning.(you need a topic sentence)

MY FAMILY’S KITCHEN

2005-06-02T07:14:00.000-07:00

MY FAMILY’S KITCHEN

1. It is at the back of my house.
2. It was recreated for two years ago.
3. It was designed by my friend.
4. It looks like between the classic and modern Thai kitchen.
5. Its floor is covered with the rectangular white tile.
6. There are a lot of clear slatted windows on the wall of the kitchen.
7. There is one set of dark brown wooden dining-table and chairs.

First Draft

MY FAMILY’S KITCHEN

I was born in Trang. It is a province in the southern of Thailand. It is a calm, clean, and beautiful province. I have lived in my house for twenty years. It has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a room of worship, a living room, a drawing room, and a kitchen room. It has a yard surrounding my house. It has two ways to entry my house: the first is the stairs at the front and the other way is next to my kitchen. It’s sure that I choose the latter way to go into my house.

For me, the kitchen is the most fascinating room. It is at the back of my house. It was just redesigned two years ago and looks like a mixing between the classic and modern Thai kitchen. Its floor is covered with the rectangular white tiles. There are a lot of clear slatted windows on the wall of the kitchen. There are one set of dark brown wooden dining-table and chairs, a new gas stove, a medium new medium aluminum sink, a wooden food cupboard, and a big red refrigerator. Sometimes I feel like the color of(article) refrigerator is very strange for this room. However it is a good idea for choosing the red because it makes this room look like bright and colorful.

Every time I come in the kitchen room, I always sit to relax and find something to eat. The first place where I would like to find food is the refrigerator. Because it is a big refrigerator, it has many things such as fresh vegetable, fruits, pork, snack, beverage, and so on. I didn’t know the refrigerator has function more than I think. Actually nobody in my house knew before until my mother lost her money. It is about 8000 baht (200 dollars). She revealed that she kept her money in the dull plastic bag. Moreover she tightened her bag, put it in the plastic again, and picked it in the refrigerator. She forgot where she kept her money. Then she recalled her memory. She threw some bags in the refrigerator away in the garbage can. It may be included that her money bag.

Finally my mother didn’t get(her) money back. That is an very amazing story for me. I asked her about her idea to keep money in the refrigerator. She told me the dangerous place is the safe place. On the other hand I think the safe place is the most dangerous place for her. No matter what(article) situation is, the next time when I come in the kitchen, the first thing I do is that I will open the valuable refrigerator and find some money in the refrigerator.

SECOND DRAFT

JANTHIMA SRISOMBAT (O)

MY FAMILY’S KITCHEN

I was born in Trang. It is a province in southern Thailand. It is a calm, clean, and beautiful province. I have lived in my house for twenty years. It has three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a room of worship, a living room, a drawing room, and a kitchen. It has a yard surrounding my house. It has two ways to enter my house: the first is the stairs at the front and the other way is next to my kitchen. It’s sure that I choose the latter way to go into my house.

For me, the kitchen is the most fascinating room. It is at the back of my house. It was just redesigned two years ago and looks like a mixing between the classic and modern Thai kitchen. Its floor is covered with the rectangular white tiles. There are a lot of clear slatted windows on the wall of the kitchen. There is one set of dark brown wooden dining-table and chairs, a new gas stove, a medium new medium aluminum sink, a wooden food cupboard, and a big red refrigerator. Sometimes I feel like the color of the refrigerator is very strange for this room. However(comma) it is a good idea for choosing the red because it makes this room look like bright and colorful.

Every time I come in the kitchen, I always sit to relax and find something to eat. The first place where I would like to find food is the refrigerator. Because it is a big refrigerator, it has many things such as fresh vegetable, fruits, pork, snack, beverage, and so on. I didn’t know(you can omit this) the refrigerator has more function than I thought. Actually nobody in my house knew before until my mother lost her money. It is about 8000 baht (200 dollars). She revealed that she kept her money in the dull plastic bag. Moreover she tightened her bag, put it in the plastic again, and kept it in the refrigerator. She forgot where she kept her money. Then she recalled her memory. She threw some bags in the refrigerator away in the garbage can. They may have included that her money bag.

Finally my mother didn’t get money back. That is a very amazing story for me. I asked her about her idea to keep money in the refrigerator. She told me the dangerous place is the safe place. On the other hand I think the safe place is the most dangerous place for her. No matter what the situation is, the next time when I come in the kitchen, the first thing I do is that I will open the valuable refrigerator and find some money in the refrigerator.(use a pronoun here)

yusunlee( park)

2005-06-01T08:02:00.000-07:00

In my hometown there is a park across from my apartment. Called "Seo-rak-park" The park has many kinds of flowers like tulip, golden-bell tree, an azalea, pansy, and the others.It looks like a kingdom of heaven. Moreover, it has a big beautiful trimming lawn(comma) and also it has a play place for children. It has new two big tennis courts, one large baseball court, and a beautiful narrow path. Always people keep going in and out in there. They enjoy jogging, riding a bicycle, and the other exercise. Actually, it is near an office building and surrounding apartments. So during the lunch period, always, people(people always) gather in the park. They play tennis or just take rest, and then read a book. Sometimes people saunter to take their dogs and talk with somebody. At night, frequently, people play tennis because the park is always the bright place. Sometimes when I feel depressed, I go to the park. Then my feeling is so comfortable and safe. I think this is a reason that people like the park.

Lumpini Park

2005-06-01T07:56:00.000-07:00

First draft

If(subject) mention Lumpini park , everybody in Bangkok will know. It is a comfortable large old public park. I have gone there and felt like that. It is located in the heart of Bangkok and opens between 05.00 a.m. to 09.00 p.m. everyday. Everybody can go to it by walking , car , skytrain , and subway. By the way , it consists of a light blue lake , a small playground , an old Chinese pavilion , a small library , gigantic trees , wooden benches , diversified animals , and many people who visit it.

Lumpini park is used in many relaxing activities. Every morning and evening , healthful persons always work out. Furthermore , it has some special activities every Sunday such as arranging a big or small concert - concert in the park - that has both classical and modern songs , doing social dance that most elder people like to do , and so on. In addition , several students can learn about types of fauna and flora from it.

Besides the advantages above , Lumpini park is also a source to produce a lot(not necessary) of oxygen (O2) for citizens , it is like “the green lung”. Bangkok fulfills terrible dark pollutions such as Carbon dioxide (CO2) due to having a lot of cars in the traffic. So , the park that has fully many big tall old trees which can change CO2 to O2 and make every people be fresh.

Finally , the park is very useful for people which live in the city. Its benefits affect everything such as human being(plural) ( healthy , education , entertainment) , animals (having rest) , environment. I would like to suggest that organizations , especially government , should support anything for having the park. Who can deny the park?

Second draft

If(subject) mention Lumpini Park , everybody in Bangkok will know. It is a comfortable large old public park. I have gone there and felt like that. It is located in the heart of Bangkok and opens between 05.00 a.m. to 09.00 p.m. everyday. Everybody can go to it by walking , car , skytrain , and subway. By the way , it consists of a light blue lake , a small playground , an old Chinese pavilion , a small library , gigantic trees , wooden benches , diversified animals , and many people who visit it.

Lumpini Park is used in many relaxing activities. Every morning and evening , healthful persons always work out. Furthermore , it has some special activities every Sunday such as arranging a big or small concert - concert in the park - that has both classical and modern songs , doing social dance that most elder people like to do , and so on. In addition , several students can learn about types of fauna and flora from it.

Besides the advantages above ,Lumpini Park is also a source of oxygen (O2) for citizens , so it is like “the green lung”. Bangkok has a lot of terrible dark pollutants such as Carbon dioxide (CO2) due to having a lot of cars in the traffic. So, the park has fully many big tall old trees which can change CO2 to O2 and make every people be fresh. Finally , the park is very useful for people which live in the city. Its benefits affect everything such as human beings (healthy , education , entertainment) , animals (having rest) , environment. I would like to suggest that organizations , especially government , should support anything for having the park. Who can deny the park?

My house's garden

2005-06-01T07:44:00.000-07:00

I'd like to introduce my garden. My house has a big beautiful garden. The garden is made of bright green lawn. There is an old pine tree in the middle of the garden. It has been there since my house was built. When the house was built, we got many big stones which we cut and used to make a stone wall, so there is a gray middle stone wall around the house. There is big space and many dogs behind the house. My brother has raised a cute brown dog in big space behind the house. It is a good place for dogs. Our dogs play with a white cat. It is a strange affair because dogs are not friendly with cats. My father and my brother like dogs, but my mother doesn't like dogs, so my mom always says "Sell the dogs, please!"
The garden has a small, round pond and some goldfishes. It was made of stone. When(article) typhoon came, the pond was flooded and goldfishes died. Also, the garden has a special building for summer. It's a comfortable hut. It was made in the year 2000. I like to lay down and eat watermelons under the hut. When I ate the watermelon, I felt like I was in heaven. I miss the garden and my home.

My Garden in My House

2005-06-01T07:37:00.000-07:00

There is a beautiful garden in my house which I'm going to describe now. Before you enter my house, you can see a small neat stone wall. This wall is not so tall, but pretty. When you enter my house, you can see a lot of trees and flowers, and(article)extensive lawn behind a stone wall. There are two camellias, two old sea-pine trees, roses, flower grass, a jujube tree and a persimmon tree. In every spring, all of the flowers are in full bloom. There is a forest of bamboos behind my house. A lot of birds, such as sparrows, doves, titmouse and magpies, are singing everyday behind my house; furthermore, I have a small pond in which fish like goldfish are swimming and frogs are jumpping around. There is a small stream in front of my house. A field of reeds in the stream is changed brown every fall, my feeling is come calmness when I see this field. I miss my garden, right now.

Second draft
my house, you can see a small neat stone wall. This wall is not so tall, but pretty. When you enter my house, you can see a lot of trees and flowers, and an extensive lawn behind a stone wall. There are two camellias, two old sea-pine trees, roses, flower grass, a jujube tree and a persimmon tree. In every spring, all of the flowers are in full bloom. There is a forest of bamboos behind my house. A lot of birds, such as sparrows, doves, titmouse and magpies, are singing everyday behind my house; furthermore, I have a small pond in which fish like goldfish are swimming and frogs are jumping around. There is a small stream in front of my house. A field of reeds in the stream is changed brown every fall. A calm feeling comes when I see this field. I miss my garden, right now.

Listen and Write

2005-05-25T19:13:00.000-07:00

Listen to this audio and take notes. You should only listen to it twice.
Pay special attention to the phrasing and sentence structure, then try to write the passage as completely as possible. When you have finished, check this link for some questions about the content. See if your notes were complete enough to answer the questions. Then listen again to check yourself.

christin Demonstratin in Freiburg 2003

2005-05-25T07:58:00.000-07:00

I had to work all week when everybody got ready for the big demonstration coming up the following weekend.For the past month I hadn't heard anything besides people talking about the weekend when the Nazis were coming in to town to have a speech.To me it was really interesting to get to now what the Nazis are all about this days! But I think I was the only person in my office how looked at it this way, everybody also was ready to fight , without even now what there going to talke about.When it got closer to the weekend you will see(past tense) people go nuts baying flags, billding groups, dancing on the rod, I also heard people talking about, throwing same explosions in to a super maket so the city may stops the speach pecose of security reasons.At this Saturday early in the morning I could hear motorcycles passing by my house for one hour strait, Groups off people like clubs or organizations will work by singen and yelling stuffThe hole city was loud(comma) and music was blasting from every direction.everybody out was drinking beer and gad ready for the 2 pm speech.around 1:30pm all this people will slowley work clouse to the trainstation, there was now fast woking possible couse it was so krauded with people ollover(not sure what you mean)the city.At the trainstation people will trow bottels at the still empty staetsch, but i could hear rassit musik in the back .In the city off freiburg there ben 98000 humenbeings demonstrating it was big, at 2 pm finellyone person comes ontage, but there was now way to understand enything, becouse all the demonstants will make so much nose and yelling.this was going on for like one houer, and it turned out the 50Nazis will just leave becouse there could not tallk.everybody was happy and kept on partying and celerbrating the kik out of the Nazis this afternon.Over all i can see way people go crazy wen it comes to talking about nazis, but than again Germany is an demarkrace Country, and i think everybody shud have the right to say what there have to say!Becouse i now what the Nazis have ben all about in 1940's but i have now idea what there are a like today!

(Remember that this is all in the past, so your verbs must all reflect the past time.)
Make a list of the errors and memorize the correct spellings and verb forms.
Write your second draft below, making corrections and improvements. When you finish, your uncorrected first draft will remain above so we can see where your problems were.

Out-Line

2005-05-25T07:34:00.000-07:00

Mario Lopez
05/25/05
EFL 4300-Writing

Topic: Talking about my grand mother in reference to her first relationship.

INTRODUCTION: Sex in our society
· Hook
· Grand mother’s background
BODY: My grandmother’s story
· His first boyfriend
· Time, place and situation (Environment)-Colombia around 1930, conservative country.
CONCLUSION: Personal opinion

Crazy About The Japanese Cartoon Books

2005-05-25T07:33:00.000-07:00

Janthima Srisombat(O)
An interesting story from your childhood
Title: Crazy about The Japanese Cartoon Books

When I was 14 years old, I loved reading cartoon books. The special cartoon book for me was romantic Japanese cartoon books. Not only the story of Japanese books was interesting, but the hand-sketch cartoon was amazing also. That is the special character of Japanese cartoon books. In my free time, I was spent in reading these cartoon books so it made me had not any time to read and reviewed other books that I studied at the school. I spent a lot of money for Japanese cartoon books. It was two-third (need an s--two-thirds) of (possessive adj) pocket money. I have been buying Japanese cartoon books every day for six months. The more I bought, the more I had. I was worried about where I should hide them from my mother. I decided to hide all my Japanese cartoon books at the corner of my bedroom. I had not enough prudent. One day she came in my bedroom, then she found many Japanese cartoon books. She knew immediately what the cause of my low grade point average was. She punished and scolded me. She stopped giving me pocket money for two months. It made me appreciate in value of money. And that was the first time I began managing my time and money in the right way by myself. ( This is a good narrative.)

1. I love romantic Japanese cartoon books.
2. I spent a lot of money for Japanese cartoon books.
3. My mother punished and scolded me.
4. I didn’t have any time to read and review book that I studied at the school

Second Draft

When I was 14 years old, I loved reading cartoon books. The special cartoon book for me was romantic Japanese cartoon books. Not only the story of Japanese books was interesting, but the hand-sketch cartoon was amazing also. That is the special character of Japanese cartoon books.
(Try substituting some pronouns so that you don't need to repeat the same nouns so many times.)
In my free time, I spent most time for reading these cartoon books(comma) so I did not have any time to read and review other books that I studied at school. I enjoyed reading the Japanese cartoon books after I have eaten(use simple past tense here) in the evening. When I finished my cartoon books, I slept happily.

I spent a lot of money for Japanese cartoon books. It was two-thirds of my pocket money. I had been buying Japanese cartoon books every day for six months. The more I bought, the more I had. I was worried about where I should hide them from my mother. I decided to hide all my Japanese cartoon books at the corner of my bedroom. I was not prudent enough.

One day she came in my bedroom, then she found many Japanese cartoon books. She knew immediately what the cause of my low grade point average was. She punished and scolded me. She stopped giving me pocket money for two months. It made me appreciate the value of money. And that was the first time I began managing my time and money in the right way by myself.

1. I love romantic Japanese cartoon books.
2. I spent a lot of money for Japanese cartoon books.
3. My mother punished and scolded me.
4. I didn’t have any time to read and review book that I studied at the school

Talking about my grandmother

2005-05-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

To talk about sex in our societies is an impossible task; this topic reflects the ignorance in some of our countries. I remember a story that my grand mother( this is one word) told me some years ago. When she was a young woman, she had never heard the word ‘sex’. When she had her first and only boyfriend in her life, her parents did not know anything about her relationship because they believed that to have a boyfriend was not good for the family and their daughter .In addition, Colombia around 1930 was a very conservative and religious country. For example, it was impossible talk about sex and some kind of relations because this was considered like a big offence to God. In other words, every thing( this can be one word) in relation to sex was a sin. Before grandmother married, she did not know anything about the relations(comma) and grandfather did not either. In addition, my grand mother told me that this situation was terrible when they were together for the first night. After that, they discovered many things about their sexuality as a couple, and she had twelve children. Lastly, I believed that this funny story from my grandmother is a good example which reflects about the big secret that is sex in some societies. (Good work.)

Second Draft

To talk about sex in our societies is an impossible task; this topic reflects the ignorance in some of our countries. I remember a story that my grandmother told me some years ago. When she was a young woman, she had never heard the word ‘sex’. (" sex")When she had her first and only boyfriend in her life, her parents did not know anything about her relationship because they believed that to have a boyfriend was not good for the family and their daughter .In addition, Colombia around 1930 was a very conservative and religious country. For example, it was impossible talk about sex and some kind of relations because this was considered like a big offense to God. In other words, everything in relation to sex was a sin. Before grandmother married, she did not know anything about the relations, and grandfather did not either. In addition, my grand mother told me that this situation was terrible when they were together for the first night. After that, they discovered many things about their sexuality as a couple, and she had twelve children. Lastly,( In this narative, it isn't necessary to use a transition word like this. You can just omit.) I believed(You can use the present tense here because it is a feeling that continues into the present time.) that this funny story from my grandmother is a good example which reflects the big secret that is sex in some societies.

Using prepositions for descriptions

2005-05-22T09:52:00.000-07:00

Prepositional phrases often follow nouns to give us more information about their location. Let's start with a noun like juice.If we want to be more specific, we could say,"the juice in the glass." Now we have another noun, glass. We can say something more specific about that noun, too. We could say, for example, " the glass on the table." Let's put those nouns and phrases together: the juice in the glass on the table. We could even go one step more and tell something about the location of the table: the juice in the glass on the table in the kitchen. Notice how the prepositional phrase directly follows the noun it is talking about.

Assignment:
Make a series of 2 prepositional phrase groups using on, in, under, by, or near and beginning with the following nouns : bicycle, chair, picture, coffee cup, shoes, newspaper, man. Don't forget to use an article with your nouns.
Example: car--a car near the tree in the parking lot

yusunlee(using prepositions)

2005-05-20T07:52:00.001-07:00

An interesting event that happened in your city

"Yeo edo fireworks festival "

In my citiy has an interesting event, Yeo edo fireworks festival, this event happens at the beginning of summer once in every 2 years in Korea.

This event means universal peace, and the place is Yeo edo in Seoul, Korea that is surrounding the Han Kang River near my house. It's a beautiful place.

When we saw fireworks, we could make our wishes and peace all over the world.
Then if you go to the Yeo edo fireworks fastival, you are going to see so many couples. So you

had better go with your girl friend or boy friend. The fastival is a big event, so Other countries

bring fireworkers gather in Yeo edo place, for example China, Japan, Russia, and the other countries. They are firework contest with attendance of other countries in this event.

second draft

"Yeo edo fireworks festival "

My city has interesting event, Yeo edo fireworks festival that happens at the beginning of summer once in every 2 years in Korea.
This event means universal peace, and the place is Yeo edo in Seoul, Korea that is surrounding the Han Kang River near my house. It's a beautiful place.
When we saw fireworks, we could make our wishes and peace all over the world.Then if you go to the Yeo edo fireworks festival, you are going to see so many couples. So you had better go with your girl friend or boy friend. The festival is a big event, so other countries gather in Yeo edo place, for example China, Japan, Russia, and the other countries for(because there is) a fireworks contest with attendance of other countries in this event. (This is much better!)

An interesting event that happened in my city(Dae-jon Expo festival)

2005-05-20T07:52:00.000-07:00

I introduce Expo that happened in Dae-jon. Korea.
This event happens once in every 4 years in the world.
We see so many things in this event such as technology abilities, world wide cultural treasures, and play places (like Disneyland).
For example, world wide cultural treasures show display Egypt, Japan, Korea, France, England, and so many countries' treasures.
This event changes a location many cities in the world once every 4 years.
So many people from all over the world came to this event.
And many world wide(put hyphen between world and wide) singers came to this event.
This event place nears my house.
I went to this event places so many times.
And I support this event’s supporter. (What does this mean?)
And I took part in Expo’s soccer game, cycle marathon game. (It isn't good to begin sentences with and)
'koomdori' is a symble in Expo.
This symble in Expo is a very famous in this festival.
This place(verb)near the kumkang river is a beautiful.
A fish under the river is called "koomdori fish". ( This doesn't hold together as a paragraph very well. Try to tie it t ogether with some more conjuctions and prepositions.Can you find another word for event?)

Second draft

I introduce Expo that happened in Dae-jon. Korea.This event happens once in every 4 years in the world.We see so many things in this event such(I think you should use a comma here.) as technology abilities, world wide cultural treasures, and play places (like Disneyland).For example, world wide cultural treasures show display Egypt, Japan, Korea, France, England, and so many countries' treasures.This event changes a location many cities in the world once every 4 years.So many people from all over the world came to this event.And many world-wide singers came to this event.Because this event(you could use a pronoun here to avoid repetition) took place near my house, I went so many times, and I was this event’s supporter.I took part in Expo’s soccer game,(use the conjunction and here instead of a comma because you only have 2 things) cycle marathon game. 'Koomdori' is a symbol in Expo.This symbol in Expo is very famous in this festival.This place is (not needed)near the Kumkang river is beautiful.A fish under the river is called "Koomdori fish".

Red devils' Power in the 2002 Korea-Japan World Cup.

2005-05-20T07:32:00.000-07:00

For a hundred years, soccer has been (need article) famous sports, so soccer game which called(passive voice)the World Cup is held every four years. Finally( I don't think you want to say finally so soon), The World Cup is out of the most famous sports event in the world. And then, the World Cup had been held in Korea and Japan in 2002.

My country had advanced to the World Cup six times; however, unfortunately, they never had won the game. So, many Korean people had been longing for a victory in the World Cup. And then, dreams came true. My country won the game from the preliminary league for the first time, and the Korean soccer team continuously won the game. So, most Korean people were wildly excited.

Whenever they won the game, people rushed out into the streets in every city. They wore red shirts because the Korean soccer team's uniform it's red. They were supporters who were named "Red Devils" for the Korean team. So, the streets were covered with red which seemed like a wave.
We called Red Devils, " The 12th of a fighter", because their supports raised the morale of the Korean soccer team, so they could win the game in the World Cup.

At last, Korea advanced to the semifinals(here you need a comma--see page 281 in grammar book) which had never happened before. So, the Korean team's coach, Hidink, became a national hero.
Although they lost in the semifinals, they played well. So, until now, it remains in our mind. In the 2002 Korea-Japan World Cup, Red-Devils let the world know how powerful they were.

Second draft

For a hundred years, soccer has been a famous sport, so soccer game which was called the World Cup is held every four years. So, The World Cup is one of the most famous sports event in the world. And then,(This isn't useful here.) the World Cup had been(simple past tense is better here.) held in Korea and Japan in 2002.

My country had advanced to the World Cup six times; however, unfortunately, they never had won the game. So, many Korean people had been longing for a victory in the World Cup. And then, dreams came true. My country won the game from the preliminary league for the first time, and the Korean soccer team continuously won the game. So, most Korean people were wildly excited.

Whenever they won the game, people rushed out into the streets in every city. They wore red shirts because the Korean soccer team's uniform it was red. They were supporters who were named "Red Devils" for the Korean team. So, the streets were covered with red which seemed like a wave. We called Red Devils, " The 12th of a fighter", because their supports raised the morale of the Korean soccer team, so they could win the game in the World Cup.

At last, Korea advanced to the semifinals, which had never happened before. So, the Korean team's coach, Hidink, became a national hero. Although they lost in the semifinals, they played well. So, until now, it remains in our mind. In the 2002 Korea-Japan World Cup, Red-Devils let the world know how powerful they were.

Tsunami in Thailand (Pongpoth)

2005-05-20T07:23:00.000-07:00

Pongpoth Pinitpreecha (Paul)

An interesting event that happened in your city

Title : Tsunami in Thailand

Tsunami in Thailand killed many people and become to the nightmare of Thais. In the morning lately of December 26,2005 , most people still slept and didn’t know before that it would happen. Suddenly many gigantic waves , called “Tsunami” , swashed into the coast of south-west Thailand . It killed approximately 8,000 persons , including foreign travelers. The major cause of the Tsunami in Thailand was from an earthquake in Indonesia (Sumatra Island) , furthermore , Thailand didn’t have a warning system. However , the government hurried to find out the preventing and correcting measures and restored many places which were damaged from it. Moreover , everyone felt sympathetic and contributed something for someone who suffered from this effect.
Eventhough it passed 5 months ago , specialists have still discuss about the ways to help Tsunami victims. The best way is
Finally , we all hope this event will not happen in Thailand and other places in the world because none of us want to see like the catastrophe. (Good use of transition words.)

Second Draft

Tsunami in Thailand killed many people and became to the nightmare of Thais. In the late morning of December 26,2005 , most people still slept and didn’t know before that it would happen. Suddenly many gigantic waves , called “Tsunami” , swashed into the coast of south-west Thailand . It killed approximately 8,000 persons , including foreign travelers. The major cause of the Tsunami in Thailand was from an earthquake in Indonesia (Sumatra Island). Furthermore , Thailand didn’t have a warning system. However , the government hurried to find out the preventing and correcting measures and restored many places which were damaged from it. Moreover , everyone felt sympathetic and contributed something for someone who suffered from this effect.
Even though it passed 5 months ago, specialists have still discussed about the ways to help Tsunami victims. Some agreed that the best way should make people realize what Tsunami is by pressing and learnt about the natural system. For example(comma) if human beings know to use resource(plural) carefully, the nature will not do some disaster with them. Others agreed that people should observe the phenomena that have something wrong such as changing of behavior of animals and the weather.
Finally , we all hope this event will not happen in Thailand and other places in the world because none of us want to see another catastrophe.

My Greatuncle.

2005-05-20T07:20:00.000-07:00

This story is my grandfather's younger brother's experience. When he was a youth, he had the strength of a horse. He could pick up a 360-pound (you don't need the s here becausethe noun is being used as an adjective)rice bag at once and was so smart. When he was in his 20s, he was commandeered by Japanese military in Korea during World War 2. He was moved to north China and conducted war. However, he didn't understand why he was being attacked and thought it wasn't to anybody's advantage even though he survived during the war. He was anxious because this war broke out from Japanese ambition, and sometimes he had to kill other Koreans who were aganist the Japanese army. Then he felt guilty and decided to escape, so he killed two Japanese guards in one breath at midnight one winter in the 1930s, and he ran away. After that, he just headed south to beg meals and work anywhere for(use a or his to modify) living. One year later, my grandpa picked him up when he lived (preposition) Pyungyang, the capital city of North-Korea now, because he didn't have enough money to buy a train ticket, and he came back home. After I heard this story from my father, I didn't like Japan.

second draft

This story is my grandfather's younger brother's experience. When he was a youth, he had the strength of a horse. He could pick up a 360-pound rice bag at once and was so smart. When he was in his 20s, he was commandeered by Japanese military in Korea during World War 2. He was moved to north China and conducted war. However, he didn't understand why he was being attacked and thought it wasn't to anybody's advantage even though he survived during the war. He was anxious because this war broke out from Japanese ambition, and sometimes he had to kill other Koreans who were against the Japanese army. Then he felt guilty and decided to escape, so he killed two Japanese guards in one breath at midnight one winter in the 1930s, and he ran away. After that, he just headed south to beg meals and work anywhere for his living. One year later, my grandpa picked him up when he lived in Pyungyang, the capital city of North-Korea now, because he didn't have enough money to buy a train ticket, and he came back home. After I heard this story from my father, I didn't like Japan. (good)

Bicycle festival

2005-05-20T07:19:00.000-07:00

I have lived in Sang-ju, Korea. My city has a special festival. It's the only bicycle festival in Korea. First, I'd like to introduce my city. Many people farm, but these days many people quit it because farming is hard work.The most famous harvest is dried persimmon. People like it ,and it's delicious. Also, it's expensive. I worked to make dried persimmons. My city is calm, and people are kind. If you come to my city, you will feel calm. Many people have bicycles because my city doesn't have developed transportation. Also, many students ride bicycles to school, and I rode a bicycle until I was 19 years old. When we rode a bicycle the first time, we rode four-wheeled cycles that have training wheels. After that, when we got used to riding four-wheels-cycles, (wheeled) we rode tricycles and then we rode bicycles. Every year we have bicycle festivals. I liked to celebrate the event of the bicycle festival that invited singers and displayed fireworks. When the festival starts, bicycles fill up all of the roads. It has many interesting events, and many people like it. We have free bicycles on the roads. You can use them any time, but you must return them after use. These days, students don't like to ride bicycles that much.( very nice)

Narrative

2005-05-18T10:43:00.000-07:00

Our first assignment will be to write a narrative. Remember to put things in the proper chronological (time) order, include some descriptions, and be interesting. The steps for today are as follows:

First, choose from one of the following topics for your essay:
A. An interesting event that happened in your city
B. An interesting story from your childhood
C. An interesting story about a grandparent or ancestor

Then:
1. Write a topic sentence and make a simple outline in proper form as we discussed in class.
2. With a partner, follow the outline and tell your story. Let your partner ask questions or make suggestions if your story isn't clear.
3. Add supporting details and make changes to your outline after the discussion.

Outline on How to Write a Paragraph

2005-05-18T10:42:00.000-07:00

How to Write a Paragraph
Before you write
A. Choose a topic
1.Assigned by the teacher
2.Your own choice
B. Get ideas by
1. Brainstorming
2.Making lists
3. Drawing pictures
C. Decide on a Controlling Idea and write a Topic Sentence
1. Make sure the style (narrative, cause and effect, etc.) is clear
2. Make sure you have included details
D. Choose your main points
1. From step B select useful information
2. Add more information if necessary
E. Find details and examples to support main points
F. Make an Outline
Write the Paragraph
A.Use the correct format
1. Indent
2. Double space
3. Use margins on both sides of the paper
B. Use the outline and key vocabulary
C. Use a variety of sentence structures
1. Simple
2. Compound
3. Complex
D. Write a conclusion that summarizes the main points
Check your work
A. Spelling
B. Subject-verb agreement
C. Complete sentences

Getting Started

2005-05-17T08:12:00.000-07:00

This is where we will do in-class exercises so that we can look at alternative revision possibilities. I hope this will make it easier for you to compare ideas . My first edits will be with color text. I will highlight the parts of your work which need improvement. ( Of course, these do not represent all the possible corrections. More detailed feedback will be put on printed classwork.) The colors will represent problem areas and should help you see patterns in your mistakes:

Red for punctuation and capitalization (mechanics)
Blue for word problems such as: word choice or word order, missing articles or other missing words, preposition problems (clarity)
Yellow for spelling
Green for grammar: subject-verb agreement, sentence structure, incorrect verb form, sentence fragments, run-on sentences

Remember that your post should begin with your name and the name of the assignment. To be safe, you should do your work in a word-processing format and then copy-paste into the weblog because sometimes the posts get lost or don't publish correctly.